TodayIwenttoaniceFrenchrestaurantwithmyfriend.Afterwesitdown,thewaiteraskedwhatdoweliketoeat.Myfriendorderedfriedscallopandradishsaladforappetizerandwellingtonbeefforentree.AndIorderedcheeseravioliandcherryducklegwithapplesaucerespectivelyasappetizerandentree.Sidebythedishes,wedrinktheChardonnay.Afterwefinishedtheentree,thewaiterrecommendedthevanillasouffleandcremebruleethesetwodessertstous.Wedecidedtotakethem,anditturnedouttobebrilliant.
OnMay.5th,oneofmyfriendsandIwenttoarestaurantnearourschooltohavelunch.Thewaitressservedusfriendly.
Thatreallysurprisedmemuch.Iofteneatmealsthere.Fromthenon,IthinkIwillnevercometothisrestaurantagain.Thebossoftherestaurantshouldsolvethisproblemassoonaspossible.
MyIdealRestaurant.
Firstofall,it’slocal,withinwalkingdistanceofmyhouse.Butnottoonear,Idon’twanttowalkpastiteverytimeIpopoutforapintofmilk,orseeiteverymorningwithitshairincurlers.Between10and15minuteswalkisaboutright,soIcanworkupanappetiteontheway,walkoffthemealonthewayback.BecauseIlikeaglassorthreewithmysupper,itcan’tbesomewhereyouhavetodriveto.
Theownershouldspendmostofhis/hertimeandenergyonthepremises,soitcannotbeachain.FromAlfredo’sinEssexRd(nowtheexcellentS&M)servingegg,sausageandchips,rightuptoRaymondBlancatLeManoir,thereisnosubstituteforhavingyouractualPatronsurlespremises,keepingabeadyeye.
Thereceptionmustbegood.Thatincludeseverythingfromappearingtobepleasedtoseeyou,totakingyourdrippingcoatorshowingyouwhereyoucanhangit,havingatablecleanandready–especiallyifyou’vebooked-andbringingyouamenuswiftly.Idon’tjustgotoarestaurantbecauseI’mhungry–IgobecauseIhaveanhourbeforemynextappointment;wanttositdown;getoutoftherain;undertakesomeemergencygroomingintheLadies;talktomyfriend;readmypaper;writeinmynotebook;takemyshoesoff;haveapeeormeetsomebody.Whileinthejoint,Iwanttobelookedafter.
Thetoiletsarespaciousandclean,withmirrorstosuitallheights,andrealtowels.Notpaper(environmentallydodgy)nothotair(dittoandtimeconsuming)propertowelling.There’ssufficientspaceinthecubiclesformetochangemyclothes.IfIwantto.
Idon’tcarehowfancyorbasicitis,orwhetherthetableiscoveredinaclothorformica,inmyidealrestaurantthetablenevershowsevidenceofpreviousmeals.Inabusyandpopularplace,wherethetablehasjustbeenvacated,ofcourseIdon’tmindwaitingforittobecleared.Butinahalfemptyrestaurant,tablesleftunclearedformorethanafewminutesisaVeryBadSign,andsoisatablethatlookscleared,butturnsouttohavestickybitsofoldtomatosauceorsugarydrinksonthetable,whichgetonmycuffs,mywristsandmynerves.Yes,WorldCafé,CrouchEnd,London,I’mtalkingaboutyou.
Myidealrestaurantbanssmokers,onlyuseswhitechina,isgenerouswiththenapkinsandmakesnochargeforicedwaterorbreadonthetable.Glasswareandcutlerysparkle,tablesdonotwobble,backgroundmusicissoftenoughtoallowconversation,staffarefriendlyandprofessional.
Nottoofriendly,mind.Idon’twanttoknowtheirnamesortheirlifestories.Idon’twantthemtotouchme.Idon’twantthemtositdownatthetablewithmeandbemyfriend.Inmyidealrestaurant,thestaffknowthemenubecausetheyeattherethemselvessoareabletotellmewhatdishesarelikeandexplainanythingIdon’tunderstand.Theytakemyorderswiftlyandcheerfully.Theywearcleanoverallsoraprons,havecleanfingernailsandflatshoes,becausetheydartaboutabit,youknow,fetchingandcarrying.
Thefoodinmyidealrestaurant(youwonderedwhenIwasgettingtothat,didn’tyou)isexactlyasdescribedonthemenu.Hotfoodispiping,coldfoodisfridgy.Everythingisfreshandmadeonthepremises.Themenu–whichisneververylong-featureslotsoffish,agoodselectionofvegetables,andsomefamiliarsurprises.Imeanthingslikecabbageandwelshrarebit-traditionaldisheswhichrarelyappearonmenus.Thereisnochildren’smenuandpushchairs,buggiesandpramsarenotallowedinside.Childrenthemselvesarewelcome,aslongastheyarepreparedtoeatrealfoodandbehave.Nothingisburned,orrawwhenitshouldn’tbe,andeveryplatearriveswithin15minutesofordering.Mysatisfactionischecked.Once.Between2-5minutesafterIhavestartedeating.AfterthatIamleftaloneuntilIhavefinishedeating.IfIputmyknifeandforkdown,butthereisfoodleftonmyplate,thestaffaskmeifIhavefinishedbeforewhippingtheplateaway.Theycleardisheswithinfiveminutesoffinishing.
Whileattendingtomyeverywhim,andlaughingatallmyjokes,staffinmyidealrestaurantneverfillmywineglassforme.Theydon’tknowwho’sdrivingsotheykeeptheirmittsoffmyChateaudePlonk.TheyalwaysaskmeifIwantdessert,andthedessertmenualwaysincludessomethingmadewithreal,darkchocolate.TheybringthebillsoonafterIaskforit,andalwaysmakeitclearifserviceisincluded.Theydonotdothatsneakything(yesTas,TheCut,London,SE1,Ihavenotforgotten)ofaddingintheservicechargethenleavingthebill“open”.
Ofcoursemyidealrestaurantdoesnot–andnevercould–exist,butevenso,Iampreparedtodevotetherestofmylifetolookingforit.