i'dliketosharewithyouadiscoverythatimadeafewmonthsagowhilewritinganarticleforitalianwired.ialwayskeepmythesaurushandywheneveri'mwritinganything,buti'dalreadyfinishededitingthepiece,andirealizedthatihadneveronceinmylifelookeduptheword"disabled"toseewhati'dfind.
letmereadyoutheentry."disabled,adjective:crippled,helpless,useless,wrecked,stalled,maimed,wounded,mangled,lame,mutilated,run-down,worn-out,weakened,impotent,castrated,paralyzed,handicapped,senile,decrepit,laid-up,done-up,done-for,done-incracked-up,counted-out;seealsohurt,uselessandweak.antonyms,healthy,strong,capable."iwasreadingthislistoutloudtoafriendandatfirstwaslaughing,itwassoludicrous,buti'djustgottenpast"mangled,"andmyvoicebroke,andihadtostopandcollectmyselffromtheemotionalshockandimpactthattheassaultfromthesewordsunleashed.
youknow,ofcourse,thisismyraggedyoldthesaurussoi'mthinkingthismustbeanancientprintdate,rightbut,infact,theprintdatewastheearly1980s,wheniwouldhavebeenstartingprimaryschoolandforminganunderstandingofmyselfoutsidethefamilyunitandasrelatedtotheotherkidsandtheworldaroundme.and,needlesstosay,thankgodiwasn'tusingathesaurusbackthen.imean,fromthisentry,itwouldseemthatiwasbornintoaworldthatperceivedsomeonelikemetohavenothingpositivewhatsoevergoingforthem,wheninfact,todayi'mcelebratedfortheopportunitiesandadventuresmylifehasprocured.
so,iimmediatelywenttolookupthe__onlineedition,e_pectingtofindarevisionworthnoting.here'stheupdatedversionofthisunately,it'snotmuchbetter.ifindthelasttwowordsunder"nearantonyms,"particularlyunsettling:"whole"and"wholesome."
so,it'snotjustaboutthewords.it'swhatwebelieveaboutpeoplewhenwenamethemwiththesewords.it'saboutthevaluesbehindthewords,andhowweconstructthosevalues.ourlanguageaffectsourthinkingandhowweviewtheworldandhowweviewotherpeople.infact,manyancientsocieties,includingthegreeksandtheromans,believedthattoutteracurseverballywassopowerful,becausetosaythethingoutloudbroughtitintoe_istence.so,whatrealitydowewanttocallintoe_istence:apersonwhoislimited,orapersonwho'sempoweredbycasuallydoingsomethingassimpleasnamingaperson,achild,wemightbeputtinglidsandcastingshadowsontheirpower.wouldn'twewanttoopendoorsfortheminstead
onesuchpersonwhoopeneddoorsformewasmychildhooddoctorattheinstituteinwilmington,delaware.hisnamewasdr.pizzutillo,anitalianamerican,whosename,apparently,wastoodifficultformostamericanstopronounce,sohewentbydr.p.anddr.palwaysworereallycolorfulbowtiesandhadtheveryperfectdispositiontoworkwithchildren.
ilovedalmosteverythingaboutmytimespentatthishospital,withthee_ceptionofmyphysicaltherapysessions.ihadtodowhatseemedlikeinnumerablerepetitionsofe_erciseswiththesethick,elasticbands--differentcolors,youknow--tohelpbuildupmylegmuscles,andihatedthesebandsmorethananything--ihatedthem,hadnamesforthem.ihatedthem.and,youknow,iwasalreadybargaining,asafiveyear-oldchild,withdr.ptotrytogetoutofdoingthesee_ercises,unsuccessfully,ofcourse.and,oneday,hecameintomysession--e_haustiveandunforgiving,thesesessions--andhesaidtome,"wow.aimee,youaresuchastrongandpowerfullittlegirl,ithinkyou'regoingtobreakoneofthosebands.whenyoudobreakit,i'mgoingtogiveyouahundredbucks."
now,ofcourse,thiswasasimpleployondr.p'sparttogetmetodothee_ercisesididn'twanttodobeforetheprospectofbeingtherichestfive-year-oldinthesecondfloorward,butwhatheeffectivelydidformewasreshapeanawfuldailyoccurrenceintoanewandpromisinge_perienceforihavetowondertodaytowhate_tenthisvisionandhisdeclarationofmeasastrongandpowerfullittlegirlshapedmyownviewofmyselfasaninherentlystrong,powerfulandathleticpersonwellintothefuture.
thisisane_ampleofhowadultsinpositionsofpowercanignitethepowerofachild.but,inthepreviousinstancesofthosethesaurusentries,ourlanguageisn'tallowingustoevolveintotherealitythatwewouldallwant,thepossibilityofaninspanidualtoseethemselvesascapable.ourlanguagehasn'tcaughtupwiththechangesinoursociety,manyofwhichhavebeenbroughtaboutbytechnology.certainly,fromamedicalstandpoint,mylegs,lasersurgeryforvisionimpairment,titaniumkneesandhipreplacementsforagingbodiesthatareallowingpeopletomorefullyengagewiththeirabilities,andmovebeyondthelimitsthatnaturehasimposedonthem--nottomentionsocialnetworkingplatformsallowpeopletoself-identify,toclaimtheirowndescriptionsofthemselves,sotheycangoalignwithglobalgroupsoftheirownchoosing.so,perhapstechnologyisrevealingmoreclearlytousnowwhathasalwaysbeenatruth:thateveryonehassomethingrareandpowerfultoofferoursociety,andthatthehumanabilitytoadaptisourgreatestasset.
thehumanabilitytoadapt,it'saninterestingthing,becausepeoplehavecontinuallywantedtotalktomeaboutovercomingadversity,andi'mgoingtomakeanadmission:thisphraseneversatrightwithme,andialwaysfeltuneasytryingtoanswerpeople'squestionsaboutit,andithinki'mstartingtofigureoutwhy.implicitinthisphraseof"overcomingadversity"istheideathatsuccess,orhappiness,isaboutemergingontheothersideofachallenginge_perienceunscathedorunmarkedbythee_perience,asifmysuccessesinlifehavecomeaboutfromanabilitytosidesteporcircumnavigatethepresumedpitfallsofalifewithprosthetics,orwhatotherpeopleperceiveasmydisability.but,infact,wearechanged.wearemarked,ofcourse,byachallenge,whetherphysically,emotionallyorboth.andi'mgoingtosuggestthatthisisagoodthing.adversityisn'tanobstaclethatweneedtogetaroundinordertoresumelivingourlife.it'spartofourlife.anditendtothinkofitlikemyshadow.sometimesiseealotofit,sometimesthere'sverylittle,butit'salwayswithme.and,certainly,i'mnottryingtodiminishtheimpact,theweight,ofaperson'sstruggle.
thereisadversityandchallengeinlife,andit'sallveryrealandrelativetoeverysingleperson,butthequestionisn'twhetherornotyou'regoingtomeetadversity,buthowyou'regoingtomeetit.so,ourresponsibilityisnotsimplyshieldingthosewecareforfromadversity,butpreparingthemtomeetitwell.andwedoadisservicetoourkidswhenwemakethemfeelthatthey'renotequippedtoadapt.there'sanimportantdifferenceanddistinctionbetweentheobjectivemedicalfactofmybeinganamputeeandthesubjectivesocietalopinionofwhetherornoti'mdisabled.and,truthfully,theonlyrealandconsistentdisabilityi'vehadtoconfrontistheworldeverthinkingthaticouldbedescribedbythosedefinitions.
inourdesiretoprotectthosewecareaboutbygivingthemthecold,hardtruthabouttheirmedicalprognosis,or,indeed,aprognosisonthee_pectedqualityoftheirlife,wehavetomakesurethatwedon'tputthefirstbrickinawallthatwillactuallydisablesomeone.perhapsthee_istingmodelofonlylookingatwhatisbrokeninyouandhowdowefi_it,servestobemoredisablingtotheinspanidualthanthepathologyitself.
bynottreatingthewholenessofaperson,bynotacknowledgingtheirpotency,wearecreatinganotherillontopofwhatevernaturalstruggletheymighthave.weareeffectivelygradingsomeone'sworthtoourcommunity.soweneedtoseethroughthepathologyandintotherangeofhumancapability.and,mostimportantly,there'sapartnershipbetweenthoseperceiveddeficienciesandourgreatestcreativeability.soit'snotaboutdevaluing,ornegating,thesemoretryingtimesassomethingwewanttoavoidorsweepundertherug,butinsteadtofindthoseopportunitieswrappedintheadversity.somaybetheideaiwanttoputoutthereisnotsomuchovercomingadversityasitisopeningourselvesuptoit,embracingit,grapplingwithit,touseawrestlingterm,maybeevendancingwithit.and,perhaps,ifweseeadversityasnatural,consistentanduseful,we'relessburdenedbythepresenceofit.
thisyearwecelebratethe200thbirthdayofcharlesdarwin,anditwas150yearsago,whenwritingaboutevolution,thatdarwinillustrated,ithink,atruthaboutthehumancharacter.toparaphrase:it'snotthestrongestofthespeciesthatsurvives,norisitthemostintelligentthatsurvives;itistheonethatismostadaptabletochange.conflictisthegenesisofcreation.fromdarwin'swork,amongstothers,wecanrecognizethatthehumanabilitytosurviveandflourishisdrivenbythestruggleofthehumanspiritthroughconflictintotransformation.so,again,transformation,adaptation,isourgreatesthumanskill.and,perhaps,untilwe'retested,wedon'tknowwhatwe'remadeof.maybethat'swhatadversitygivesus:asenseofself,asenseofourownpower.so,wecangiveourselvesagift.wecanre-imagineadversityassomethingmorethanjusttoughtimes.maybewecanseeitaschange.adversityisjustchangethatwehaven'tadaptedourselvestoyet.
ithinkthegreatestadversitythatwe'vecreatedforourselvesisthisideaofnormalcy.now,who'snormalthere'snonormal.there'scommon,there'stypical.there'snonormal,andwouldyouwanttomeetthatpoor,beigepersoniftheye_isted(laughter)idon'tthinkso.ifwecanchangethisparadigmfromoneofachievingnormalcytooneofpossibility--orpotency,tobeevenalittlebitmoredangerous--wecanreleasethepowerofsomanymorechildren,andinvitethemtoengagetheirrareandvaluableabilitieswiththecommunity.
anthropologiststellusthattheonethingweashumanshavealwaysrequiredofourcommunitymembersistobeofuse,tobeableto'sevidencethatneanderthals,60,000yearsago,carriedtheirelderlyandthosewithseriousphysicalinjury,andperhapsit'sbecausethelifee_perienceofsurvivalofthesepeopleprovedofvaluetothecommunity.theydidn'tviewthesepeopleasbrokenanduseless;theywereseenasrareandvaluable.
afewyearsago,iwasinafoodmarketinthetownwhereigrewupinthatredzoneinnortheasternpennsylvania,andiwasstandingoverabusheloftomatoes.itwassummertime:ihadshortson.ihearthisguy,hisvoicebehindmesay,"well,ifitisn'taimeemullins."anditurnaround,andit'sthisolderman.ihavenoideawhoheis.
andisaid,"i'msorry,sir,havewemetidon'tremembermeetingyou."
hesaid,"well,youwouldn'tremembermeetingme.imean,whenwemetiwasdeliveringyoufromyourmother'swomb."(laughter)oh,thatguy.and,butofcourse,actually,itdidclick.
thismanwasdr.kean,amanthatihadonlyknownaboutthroughmymother'sstoriesofthatday,because,ofcourse,typicalfashion,iarrivedlateformybirthdaybytwoweeks.andsomymother'sprenatalphysicianhadgoneonvacation,sothemanwhodeliveredmewasacompletestrangertomyparents.and,becauseiwasbornwithoutthefibulabones,andhadfeetturnedin,andafewtoesinthisfootandafewtoesinthat,hehadtobethebearer--thisstrangerhadtobethebearerofbadnews.
hesaidtome,"ihadtogivethisprognosistoyourparentsthatyouwouldneverwalk,andyouwouldneverhavethekindofmobilitythatotherkidshaveoranykindoflifeofindependence,andyou'vebeenmakingliaroutofmeeversince."(laughter)(applause)
thee_traordinarythingisthathesaidhehadsavednewspaperclippingsthroughoutmywholechildhood,whetherwinningasecondgradespellingbee,marchingwiththegirlscouts,youknow,thehalloweenparade,winningmycollegescholarship,oranyofmysportsvictories,andhewasusingit,andintegratingitintoteachingresidentstudents,medstudentsfromhahnemannmedicalschoolandhersheymedicalschool.andhecalledthispartofthecoursethe_factor,thepotentialofthehumanwill.noprognosiscanaccountforhowpowerfulthiscouldbeasadeterminantinthequalityofsomeone'slife.anddr.keanwentontotellme,hesaid,"inmye_perience,unlessrepeatedlytoldotherwise,andevenifgivenamodicumofsupport,iflefttotheirowndevices,achildwillachieve."
see,dr.keanmadethatshiftinthinking.heunderstoodthatthere'sadifferencebetweenthemedicalconditionandwhatsomeonemightdowithit.andthere'sbeenashiftinmythinkingovertime,inthat,ifyouhadaskedmeat15yearsold,ifiwouldhavetradedprostheticsforflesh-and-bonelegs,iwouldn'thavehesitatedforasecond.iaspiredtothatkindofnormalcybackthen.butifyouaskmetoday,i'mnotsosure.andit'sbecauseofthee_periencesi'vehadwiththem,notinspiteofthee_periencesi'vehadwiththem.andperhapsthisshiftinmehashappenedbecausei'vebeene_posedtomorepeoplewhohaveopeneddoorsformethanthosewhohaveputlidsandcastshadowsonme.
see,allyoureallyneedisonepersontoshowyoutheepiphanyofyourownpower,andyou'reoff.ifyoucanhandsomebodythekeytotheirownpower--thehumanspiritissoreceptive--ifyoucandothatandopenadoorforsomeoneatacrucialmoment,youareeducatingtheminthebestsense.you'reteachingthemtoopendoorsforthemselves.infact,thee_actmeaningoftheword"educate"comesfromtherootword"educe."itmeans"tobringforthwhatiswithin,tobringoutpotential."soagain,whichpotentialdowewanttobringout
therewasacasestudydonein1960sbritain,whentheyweremovingfromgrammarschoolstocomprehensiveschools.it'scalledthestreamingtrials.wecallit"tracking"hereinthestates.it'sseparatingstudentsfroma,b,c,dandsoon.andthe"astudents"getthetoughercurriculum,thebestteachers,etc.well,theytook,overathree-monthperiod,d-levelstudents,gavethema's,toldthemtheywere"a's,"toldthemtheywerebright,andattheendofthisthree-monthperiod,theywereperformingata-level.
and,ofcourse,theheartbreaking,flipsideofthisstudy,isthattheytookthe"astudents"andtoldthemtheywere"d's."andthat'swhathappenedattheendofthatthree-monthperiod.thosewhowerestillaroundinschool,besidesthepeoplewhohaddroppedout.acrucialpartofthiscasestudywasthattheteachersweredupedtoo.theteachersdidn'tknowaswitchhadbeenmade.theyweresimplytold,"thesearethe'a-students,'thesearethe'd-students.'"andthat'showtheywentaboutteachingthemandtreatingthem.
so,ithinkthattheonlytruedisabilityisacrushedspirit,aspiritthat'sbeencrusheddoesn'thavehope,itdoesn'tseebeauty,itnolongerhasournatural,childlikecuriosityandourinnateabilitytoimagine.ifinstead,wecanbolsterahumanspirittokeephope,toseebeautyinthemselvesandothers,tobecuriousandimaginative,thenwearetrulyusingourpoweraspirithasthosequalities,weareabletocreatenewrealitiesandnewwaysofbeing.
i'dliketoleaveyouwithapoembyafourteenth-centurypersianpoetnamedhafizthatmyfriend,jacquesdemboistoldmeabout,andthepoemiscalled"thegodwhoonlyknowsfourwords":"everychildhasknowngod,notthegodofnames,notthegodofdon'ts,butthegodwhoonlyknowsfourwordsandkeepsrepeatingthem,saying,'comedancewithme.come,dancewithme.come,dancewithme.'"
thankyou.(applause)
chineserestaurantshaveplayedanimportantroleinamericanhistory,asamatteroffact.thecubanmissilecrisiswasresolvedinachineserestaurantcalledyenchingpalaceinwashington,d.c.,whichunfortunatelyisclosednow,andabouttobeturnedintowalgreen's.andthehousethatjohnwilkesboothplannedtheassassinationofabrahamlincolnisactuallyalsonowachineserestaurantcalledwok'nroll,onhstreetinwashington.
事实上，中国餐馆在美国历史上发挥了很重要的作用。古巴导弹危机是在华盛顿一家名叫“燕京馆”的中餐馆里解决的。很不幸，这家餐馆现在关门了，即将被改建成沃尔格林连锁药店。而约翰·威尔克斯·布斯刺杀林肯总统的那所房子现在也成了一家中餐馆，就是位于华盛顿的“锅和卷”。
andifyouthinkaboutit,alotofthefoodsthatyouthinkoforwethinkoforamericansthinkofaschinesefoodarebarelyrecognizabletochinese,fore_ample:beefwithbroccoli,eggrolls,generaltso'schicken,fortunecookies,chopsuey,thetake-outbo_es.
如果你仔细想想，就会发现很多你们所认为或我们所认为，或是美国人所认为的中国食物，中国人并不认识。比如西兰花牛肉、蛋卷、左宗棠鸡、幸运饼干、杂碎、外卖盒子。
so,theinterestingquestionis,howdoyougofromfortunecookiesbeingsomethingthatisjapanesetobeingsomethingthatischinesewell,theshortansweris,welockedupallthejapaneseduringworldwarii,includingthosethatmadefortunecookies,sothat'sthetimewhenthechinesemovedin,kindofsawamarketopportunityandtookover.
所以有趣的是，幸运饼干是怎么从日本的东西变成中国的东西的呢简单地说，我们在二战时扣押了所以的日本人，包括那些做幸运饼干的。这时候，中国人来了，看到了商机，自然就据为己有了。
generaltso'schicken--which,bytheway,intheusnavalacademyiscalledadmiraltso'schicken.ilovethisdish.theoriginalnameinmybookwasactuallycalledthelongmarchofgeneraltso,andhehasmarchedveryfarindeed,becauseheissweet,heisfried,andheischicken--allthingsthatamericanslove.
左宗棠鸡，在美国海军军校被称为左司令鸡。我很喜欢这道菜。在我的书里，这道菜实际上叫左将军的长征，它确实在美国很受欢迎，因为它是甜的，油炸的，是鸡肉做的——全部都是美国人的最爱。
so,youknow,irealizedwheniwasthere,generaltsoiskindofalotlikecolonelsandersinamerica,inthathe'sknownforchickenandnotwar.butinchina,thisguy'sactuallyknownforwarandnotchicken.
我意识到左宗棠将军有点像美国的桑德斯上校(肯德基创始人)，因为他是因鸡肉而出名的而不是战争。而在中国，左宗棠确实是因为战争而不是鸡肉闻名的。
soit'skindofpartofthephenomenonicalledspontaneousself-organization,right,where,likeinantcolonies,wherelittledecisionsmadeby--onthemicro-levelactuallyhaveabigimpactonthemacro-level.
这就有点像我所说的自发组织现象。就像在蚂蚁群中，在微观层面上做的小小决定会在宏观层面上产生巨大的影响。
andthegreatinnovationofchickenmcnuggetswasnotnuggetfyingthem,becausethat'skindofaneasyconcept,butthetrickbehindchickenmcnuggetswas,theywereabletoremovethechickenfromtheboneinacost-effectivemanner,whichiswhyittooksolongforotherpeopletocopythem.
麦乐鸡块的发明并没有给他们带来切实收益，因为这个想法很简单，但麦乐鸡背后的技巧是如何用一种划算的方式来把鸡肉从骨头上剔出来。这就是为什么过了这么久才有人模仿他们。
wecanthinkofchineserestaurantsperhapsaslinu_:sortofanopensourcething,right,whereideasfromonepersoncanbecopiedandpropagatedacrosstheentiresystem,thattherecanbespecializedversionsofchinesefood,youknow,dependingontheregion.
我们可以把中餐馆比作linu_：一种开源系统。一个人的想法可以在整个系统中被复制，被普及。在不同的地区，就有特别版本的中国菜。
wheniwasnineyearsoldiwentofftosummercampforthefirsttime.andmymotherpackedmeasuitcasefullofbooks,whichtomeseemedlikeaperfectlynaturalthingtodo.becauseinmyfamily,readingwastheprimarygroupactivity.andthismightsoundantisocialtoyou,butforusitwasreallyjustadifferentwayofbeingsocial.youhavetheanimalwarmthofyourfamilysittingrightne_ttoyou,butyouarealsofreetogoroamingaroundtheadventurelandinsideyourownmind.andihadthisideathatcampwasgoingtobejustlikethis,butbetter.(laughter)ihadavisionof10girlssittinginacabincozilyreadingbooksintheirmatchingnightgowns.
(laughter)
campwasmorelikeakegpartywithoutanyalcohol.andontheveryfirstdayourcounselorgatheredusalltogetherandshetaughtusacheerthatshesaidwewouldbedoingeverydayfortherestofthesummertoinstillcampspirit.anditwentlikethis:"r-o-w-d-i-e,that'sthewaywespell,rowdie,let'sgetrowdie."yeah.soicouldn'tfigureoutforthelifeofmewhyweweresupposedtobesorowdy,orwhywehadtospellthiswordincorrectly.(laughter)butirecitedacheer.irecitedacheeralongwitheverybodyelse.ididmybest.andijustwaitedforthetimethaticouldgooffandreadmybooks.
butthefirsttimethatitookmybookoutofmysuitcase,thecoolestgirlinthebunkcameuptomeandsheaskedme,"whyareyoubeingsomellow"--mellow,ofcourse,beingthee_actoppositeofr-o-w-d-i-e.andthenthesecondtimeitriedit,thecounselorcameuptomewithaconcernede_pressiononherfaceandsherepeatedthepointaboutcampspiritandsaidweshouldallworkveryhardtobeoutgoing.
andsoiputmybooksaway,backintheirsuitcase,andiputthemundermybed,andtheretheystayedfortherestofthesummer.andifeltkindofguiltyaboutthis.ifeltasifthebooksneededmesomehow,andtheywerecallingouttomeandiwasforsakingthem.butididforsakethemandididn'topenthatsuitcaseagainuntiliwasbackhomewithmyfamilyattheendofthesummer.
now,itellyouthisstoryaboutsummercamp.icouldhavetoldyou50othersjustlikeit--allthetimesthatigotthemessagethatsomehowmyquietandintrovertedstyleofbeingwasnotnecessarilytherightwaytogo,thatishouldbetryingtopassasmoreofane_trovert.andialwayssenseddeepdownthatthiswaswrongandthatintrovertswereprettye_cellentjustastheywere.butforyearsideniedthisintuition,andsoibecameawallstreetlawyer,ofallthings,insteadofthewriterthatihadalwayslongedtobe--partlybecauseineededtoprovetomyselfthaticouldbeboldandassertivetoo.andiwasalwaysgoingofftocrowdedbarswhenireallywouldhavepreferredtojusthaveanicedinnerwithfriends.andimadetheseself-negatingchoicessorefle_ively,thatiwasn'tevenawarethatiwasmakingthem.
nowthisiswhatmanyintrovertsdo,andit'sourlossforsure,butitisalsoourcolleagues'lossandourcommunities'loss.andattheriskofsoundinggrandiose,itistheworld'sloss.becausewhenitcomestocreativityandtoleadership,weneedintrovertsdoingwhattheydobest.athirdtoahalfofthepopulationareintroverts--athirdtoahalf.sothat'soneoutofeverytwoorthreepeopleyouknow.soevenifyou'reane_trovertyourself,i'mtalkingaboutyourcoworkersandyourspousesandyourchildrenandthepersonsittingne_ttoyourightnow--allofthemsubjecttothisbiasthatisprettydeepandrealinoursociety.weallinternalizeitfromaveryearlyagewithoutevenhavingalanguageforwhatwe'redoing.
nowtoseethebiasclearlyyouneedtounderstandwhatintroversion'sdifferentfrombeingshy.shynessisaboutfearofsocialersionismoreabout,howdoyourespondtostimulation,includingsocialstimulation.soe_trovertsreallycravelargeamountsofstimulation,whereasintrovertsfeelattheirmostaliveandtheirmostswitched-onandtheirmostcapablewhenthey'reinquieter,morelow-keyenvironments.notallthetime--thesethingsaren'tabsolute--butalotofthetime.sothekeythentoma_imizingourtalentsisforusalltoputourselvesinthezoneofstimulationthatisrightforus.
butnowhere'swherethebiascomesin.ourmostimportantinstitutions,ourschoolsandourworkplaces,theyaredesignedmostlyfore_trovertsandfore_troverts'needforlotsofstimulation.andalsowehavethisbeliefsystemrightnowthaticallthenewgroupthink,whichholdsthatallcreativityandallproductivitycomesfromaveryoddlygregariousplace.
soifyoupicturethetypicalclassroomnowadays:wheniwasgoingtoschool,wesatinrows.wesatinrowsofdeskslikethis,andwedidmostofourworkprettyautonomously.butnowadays,yourtypicalclassroomhaspodsofdesks--fourorfiveorsi_orsevenkidsallfacingeachother.andkidsareworkingincountlessgroupassignments.eveninsubjectslikemathandcreativewriting,whichyouthinkwoulddependonsoloflightsofthought,kidsarenowe_pectedtoactascommitteemembers.andforthekidswhoprefertogooffbythemselvesorjusttoworkalone,thosekidsareseenasoutliersoftenor,worse,asproblemcases.andthevastmajorityofteachersreportsbelievingthattheidealstudentisane_trovertasopposedtoanintrovert,eventhoughintrovertsactuallygetbettergradesandaremoreknowledgeable,accordingtoresearch.(laughter)
okay,samethingistrueinourworkplaces.now,mostofusworkinopenplanoffices,withoutwalls,wherewearesubjecttotheconstantnoiseandgazeofourcoworkers.andwhenitcomestoleadership,introvertsareroutinelypassedoverforleadershippositions,eventhoughintrovertstendtobeverycareful,muchlesslikelytotakeoutsizerisks--whichissomethingwemightallfavornowadays.andinterestingresearchbyadamgrantatthewhartonschoolhasfoundthatintrovertedleadersoftendeliverbetteroutcomesthane_trovertsdo,becausewhentheyaremanagingproactiveemployees,they'remuchmorelikelytoletthoseemployeesrunwiththeirideas,whereasane_trovertcan,quiteunwittingly,getsoe_citedaboutthingsthatthey'reputtingtheirownstamponthings,andotherpeople'sideasmightnotaseasilythenbubbleuptothesurface.
nowinfact,someofourtransformativeleadersinhistoryhavebeenintroverts.i'llgiveyousomee_amples.eleanorroosevelt,rosaparks,gandhi--allthesepeopleddescribedthemselvesasquietandsoft-spokenandeventheyalltookthespotlight,eventhougheveryboneintheirbodieswastellingthemnotto.andthisturnsouttohaveaspecialpowerallitsown,becausepeoplecouldfeelthattheseleaderswereatthehelm,notbecausetheyenjoyeddirectingothersandnotoutofthepleasureofbeinglookedat;theyweretherebecausetheyhadnochoice,becausetheyweredriventodowhattheythoughtwasright.
nowithinkatthispointit'simportantformetosaythatiactuallylovee_troverts.ialwaysliketosaysomeofmybestfriendsaree_troverts,includingmybelovedhusband.andweallfallatdifferentpoints,ofcourse,alongtheintrovert/e_trovertspectrum.evencarljung,thepsychologistwhofirstpopularizedtheseterms,saidthatthere'snosuchthingasapureintrovertorapuree_trovert.hesaidthatsuchamanwouldbeinalunaticasylum,ifhee_istedatall.andsomepeoplefallsmackinthemiddleoftheintrovert/e_trovertspectrum,andwecallthesepeopleambiverts.andioftenthinkthattheyhavethebestofallworlds.butmanyofusdorecognizeourselvesasonetypeortheother.
andwhati'msayingisthatculturallyweneedamuchbetterbalance.weneedmoreofayinandyangbetweenthesetwotypes.thisisespeciallyimportantwhenitcomestocreativityandtoproductivity,becausewhenpsychologistslookatthelivesofthemostcreativepeople,whattheyfindarepeoplewhoareverygoodate_changingideasandadvancingideas,butwhoalsohaveaseriousstreakofintroversioninthem.
andthisisbecausesolitudeisacrucialingredientoftentodarwin,hetooklongwalksaloneinthewoodsandemphaticallyturneddowndinnerpartyinvitations.theodorgeisel,betterknownasdr.seuss,hedreamedupmanyofhisamazingcreationsinalonelybelltowerofficethathehadinthebackofhishouseinlajolla,california.andhewasactuallyafraidtomeettheyoungchildrenwhoreadhisbooksforfearthattheyweree_pectinghimthiskindofjollysantaclaus-likefigureandwouldbedisappointedwithhismorereservedpersona.stevewozniakinventedthefirstapplecomputersittingaloneinhiscubicalinhewlett-packardwherehewasworkingatthetime.andhesaysthatheneverwouldhavebecomesuchane_pertinthefirstplacehadhenotbeentoointrovertedtoleavethehousewhenhewasgrowingup.
nowofcourse,thisdoesnotmeanthatweshouldallstopcollaborating--andcaseinpoint,isstevewozniakfamouslycomingtogetherwithstevejobstostartapplecomputer--butitdoesmeanthatsolitudemattersandthatforsomepeopleitistheairthattheybreathe.andinfact,wehaveknownforcenturiesaboutthetranscendentpowerofsolitude.it'sonlyrecentlythatwe'vestrangelybeguntoforgetit.ifyoulookatmostoftheworld'smajorreligions,youwillfindseekers--moses,jesus,buddha,muhammad--seekerswhoaregoingoffbythemselvesalonetothewildernesswheretheythenhaveprofoundepiphaniesandrevelationsthattheythenbringbacktotherestofthecommunity.sonowilderness,norevelations.
thisisnosurprisethoughifyoulookattheinsightsofcontemporarypsychology.itturnsoutthatwecan'tevenbeinagroupofpeoplewithoutinstinctivelymirroring,mimickingtheiropinions.evenaboutseeminglypersonalandvisceralthingslikewhoyou'reattractedto,youwillstartapingthebeliefsofthepeoplearoundyouwithoutevenrealizingthatthat'swhatyou'redoing.
andgroupsfamouslyfollowtheopinionsofthemostdominantorcharismaticpersonintheroom,eventhoughthere'szerocorrelationbetweenbeingthebesttalkerandhavingthebestideas--imeanzero.so...(laughter)youmightbefollowingthepersonwiththebestideas,butyoumightnot.anddoyoureallywanttoleaveituptochancemuchbetterforeverybodytogooffbythemselves,generatetheirownideasfreedfromthedistortionsofgroupdynamics,andthencometogetherasateamtotalkthemthroughinawell-managedenvironmentandtakeitfromthere.
nowifallthisistrue,thenwhyarewegettingitsowrongwhyarewesettingupourschoolsthiswayandourworkplacesandwhyarewemakingtheseintrovertsfeelsoguiltyaboutwantingtojustgooffbythemselvessomeofthetimeoneanswerliesdeepinourculturalhistory.westernsocieties,andinparticulartheu.s.,havealwaysfavoredthemanofactionoverthemanofcontemplationand"man"ofcontemplation.butinamerica'searlydays,welivedinwhathistorianscallacultureofcharacter,wherewestill,atthatpoint,valuedpeoplefortheirinnerselvesandtheirmoralrectitude.andifyoulookattheself-helpbooksfromthisera,theyallhadtitleswiththingslike"character,thegrandestthingintheworld."andtheyfeaturedrolemodelslikeabrahamlincolnwhowaspraisedforbeingmodestandunassuming.ralphwaldoemersoncalledhim"amanwhodoesnotoffendbysuperiority."
butthenwehitthe20thcenturyandweenteredanewculturethathistorianscallthecultureofpersonality.whathappenediswehadevolvedanagriculturaleconomytoaworldofbigbusiness.andsosuddenlypeoplearemovingfromsmalltownstothecities.andinsteadofworkingalongsidepeoplethey'veknownalltheirlives,nowtheyarehavingtoprovethemselvesinacrowdofstrangers.so,quiteunderstandably,qualitieslikemagnetismandcharismasuddenlycometoseemreallyimportant.andsureenough,theself-helpbookschangetomeetthesenewneedsandtheystarttohavenameslike"howtowinfriendsandinfluencepeople."andtheyfeatureastheirrolemodelsreallygreatsalesmen.sothat'stheworldwe'relivingintoday.that'sourculturalinheritance.
nownoneofthisistosaythatsocialskillsareunimportant,andi'malsonotcallingfortheabolishingofteamworkatall.thesamereligionswhosendtheirsagesofftolonelymountaintopsalsoteachusloveandtrust.andtheproblemsthatwearefacingtodayinfieldslikescienceandineconomicsaresovastandsocomple_thatwearegoingtoneedarmiesofpeoplecomingtogethertosolvethemworkingtogether.butiamsayingthatthemorefreedomthatwegiveintrovertstobethemselves,themorelikelythattheyaretocomeupwiththeirownuniquesolutionstotheseproblems.
sonowi'dliketosharewithyouwhat'sinmysuitcasetoday.guesswhatbooks.ihaveasuitcasefullofbooks.here'smargaretatwood,"cat'seye."here'sanovelbymilankundera.andhere's"theguidefortheperple_ed"bymaimonides.butthesearenote_actlymybooks.ibroughtthesebookswithmebecausetheywerewrittenbymygrandfather'sfavoriteauthors.
mygrandfatherwasarabbiandhewasawidowerwholivedaloneinasmallapartmentinbrooklynthatwasmyfavoriteplaceintheworldwheniwasgrowingup,partlybecauseitwasfilledwithhisverygentle,verycourtlypresenceandpartlybecauseitwasfilledwithbooks.imeanliterallyeverytable,everychairinthisapartmenthadyieldeditsoriginalfunctiontonowserveasasurfaceforswayingstacksofbooks.justliketherestofmyfamily,mygrandfather'sfavoritethingtodointhewholeworldwastoread.
buthealsolovedhiscongregation,andyoucouldfeelthisloveinthesermonsthathegaveeveryweekforthe62yearsthathewasarabbi.hewouldtakesthefruitsofeachweek'sreadingandhewouldweavetheseintricatetapestriesofancientandhumanistthought.andpeoplewouldcomefromallovertohearhimspeak.
buthere'sthethingaboutmygrandfather.underneaththisceremonialrole,hewasreallymodestandreallyintroverted--somuchsothatwhenhedeliveredthesesermons,hehadtroublemakingeyecontactwiththeverysamecongregationthathehadbeenspeakingtofor62years.andevenawayfromthepodium,whenyoucalledhimtosayhello,hewouldoftenendtheconversationprematurelyforfearthathewastakinguptoomuchofyourtime.butwhenhediedattheageof94,thepolicehadtoclosedownthestreetsofhisneighborhoodtoaccommodatethecrowdofpeoplewhocameouttomournhim.andsothesedaysitrytolearnfrommygrandfather'se_ampleinmyownway.
soijustpublishedabookaboutintroversion,andittookmeaboutsevenyearstowrite.andforme,thatsevenyearswasliketotalbliss,becauseiwasreading,iwaswriting,iwasthinking,iwasresearching.itwasmyversionofmygrandfather'shoursofthedayaloneinhislibrary.butnowallofasuddenmyjobisverydifferent,andmyjobistobeoutheretalkingaboutit,talkingaboutintroversion.(laughter)andthat'salotharderforme,becauseashonoredasiamtobeherewithallofyourightnow,thisisnotmynaturalmilieu.
soipreparedformomentsliketheseasbesticould.ispentthelastyearpracticingpublicspeakingeverychanceicouldget.andicallthismy"yearofspeakingdangerously."(laughter)andthatactuallyhelpedalot.buti'lltellyou,whathelpsevenmoreismysense,mybelief,myhopethatwhenitcomestoourattitudestointroversionandtoquietandtosolitude,wetrulyarepoisedonthebrinkondramaticchange.imean,weare.andsoiamgoingtoleaveyounowwiththreecallsforactionforthosewhosharethisvision.
numberone:stopthemadnessforconstantgroupwork.juststopit.(laughter)thankyou.(applause)andiwanttobeclearaboutwhati'msaying,becauseideeplybelieveourofficesshouldbeencouragingcasual,chattycafe-styletypesofinteractions--youknow,thekindwherepeoplecometogetherandserendipitouslyhaveane_changeofideas.thatisgreat.it'sgreatforintrovertsandit'sgreatfore_troverts.butweneedmuchmoreprivacyandmuchmorefreedomandmuchmoreautonomyatwork.school,samething.weneedtobeteachingkidstoworktogether,forsure,butwealsoneedtobeteachingthemhowtoworkontheirown.thisisespeciallyimportantfore_trovertedchildrentoo.theyneedtoworkontheirownbecausethatiswheredeepthoughtcomesfrominpart.
okay,numbertwo:gotothewilderness.belikebuddha,haveyourownrevelations.i'mnotsayingthatweallhavetonowgooffandbuildourowncabinsinthewoodsandnevertalktoeachotheragain,butiamsayingthatwecouldallstandtounplugandgetinsideourownheadsalittlemoreoften.
numberthree:takeagoodlookatwhat'sinsideyourownsuitcaseandwhyyouputitthere.soe_troverts,maybeyoursuitcasesarealsofullofbooks.ormaybethey'refullofchampagneglassesorskyspaningequipment.whateveritis,ihopeyoutakethesethingsouteverychanceyougetandgraceuswithyourenergyandyourjoy.butintroverts,youbeingyou,youprobablyhavetheimpulsetoguardverycarefullywhat'sinsideyourownsuitcase.andthat'sokay.butoccasionally,justoccasionally,ihopeyouwillopenupyoursuitcasesforotherpeopletosee,becausetheworldneedsyouanditneedsthethingsyoucarry.
soiwishyouthebestofallpossiblejourneysandthecouragetospeaksoftly.
thankyouverymuch.
(applause)
thankyou.thankyou.
wheniwassevenyearsoldandmysisterwasjustfiveyearsold,wewereplayingontopofabunkbed.iwastwoyearsolderthanmysisteratthetime--imean,i'mtwoyearsolderthanhernow--butatthetimeitmeantshehadtodoeverythingthatiwantedtodo,andiwantedtoplaywar.sowewereupontopofourbunkbeds.andononesideofthebunkbed,ihadputoutallofmyg.i.joesoldiersandweaponry.andontheothersidewereallmysister'smylittleponiesreadyforacavalrycharge.
therearedifferingaccountsofwhatactuallyhappenedthatafternoon,butsincemysisterisnotherewithustoday,letmetellyouthetruestory--(laughter)--whichismysister'salittlebitontheclumsyside.somehow,withoutanyhelporpushfromherolderbrotheratall,suddenlyamydisappearedoffofthetopofthebunkbedandlandedwiththiscrashonthefloor.nowinervouslypeeredoverthesideofthebedtoseewhathadbefallenmyfallensisterandsawthatshehadlandedpainfullyonherhandsandkneesonallfoursontheground.
iwasnervousbecausemyparentshadchargedmewithmakingsurethatmysisterandiplayedassafelyandasquietlyaspossible.andseeingashowihadaccidentallybrokenamy'sarmjustoneweekbefore...(laughter)...heroicallypushingheroutofthewayofanoncomingimaginarysniperbullet,(laughter)forwhichihaveyettobethanked,iwastryingashardasicould--shedidn'tevenseeitcoming--iwastryingashardasicouldtobeonmybestbehavior.
andisawmysister'sface,thiswailofpainandsufferingandsurprisethreateningtoeruptfromhermouthandthreateningtowakemyparentsfromthelongwinter'snapforwhichtheyhadsettled.soididtheonlythingmylittlefranticsevenyear-oldbraincouldthinktodotoavertthistragedy.andifyouhavechildren,you'veseenthishundredsoftimesbefore.isaid,"amy,amy,wait.don'tcry.don'tcry.didyouseehowyoulandednohumanlandsonallfourslikethat.amy,ithinkthismeansyou'reaunicorn."
nowthatwascheating,becausetherewasnothingintheworldmysisterwouldwantmorethannottobeamythehurtfiveyear-oldlittlesister,butamythespecialunicorn.ofcourse,thiswasanoptionthatwasopentoherbrainatnopointinthepast.andyoucouldseehowmypoor,manipulatedsisterfacedconflict,asherlittlebrainattemptedtodevoteresourcestofeelingthepainandsufferingandsurpriseshejuste_perienced,orcontemplatinghernew-foundidentityasaunicorn.andthelatterwonout.insteadofcrying,insteadofceasingourplay,insteadofwakingmyparents,withallthenegativeconsequencesthatwouldhaveensuedforme,insteadasmilespreadacrossherfaceandshescrambledrightbackupontothebunkbedwithallthegraceofababyunicorn...(laughter)...withonebrokenleg.
whatwestumbledacrossatthistenderageofjustfiveandseven--wehadnoideaatthetime--wassomethingthatwasgoingbeatthevanguardofascientificrevolutionoccurringtwodecadeslaterinthewaythatwelookatthehumanbrain.whatwehadstumbledacrossissomethingcalledpositivepsychology,whichisthereasonthati'mheretodayandthereasonthatiwakeupeverymorning.
whenifirststartedtalkingaboutthisresearchoutsideofacademia,outwithcompaniesandschools,theveryfirstthingtheysaidtoneverdoistostartyourtalkwithagraph.theveryfirstthingiwanttodoisstartmytalkwithagraph.thisgraphlooksboring,butthisgraphisthereasonigete_citedandwakeupeverymorning.andthisgraphdoesn'tevenmeananything;it'sfakedata.whatwefoundis--
ifigotthisdatabackstudyingyouhereintheroom,iwouldbethrilled,becausethere'sveryclearlyatrendthat'sgoingonthere,andthatmeansthaticangetpublished,whichisallthatreallymatters.thefactthatthere'soneweirdreddotthat'supabovethecurve,there'soneweirdointheroom--iknowwhoyouare,isawyouearlier--that'snoproblem.that'snoproblem,asmostofyouknow,becauseicanjustdeletethatdot.icandeletethatdotbecausethat'sclearlyameasurementerror.andweknowthat'sameasurementerrorbecauseit'smessingupmydata.
sooneoftheveryfirstthingsweteachpeopleineconomicsandstatisticsandbusinessandpsychologycoursesishow,inastatisticallyvalidway,doweeliminatetheweirdos.howdoweeliminatetheoutlierssowecanfindthelineofbestfitwhichisfantasticifi'mtryingtofindouthowmanyadviltheaveragepersonshouldbetaking--two.butifi'minterestedinpotential,ifi'minterestedinyourpotential,orforhappinessorproductivityorenergyorcreativity,whatwe'redoingiswe'recreatingthecultoftheaveragewithscience.
ifiaskedaquestionlike,"howfastcanachildlearnhowtoreadinaclassroom"scientistschangetheanswerto"howfastdoestheaveragechildlearnhowtoreadinthatclassroom"andthenwetailortheclassrighttowardstheaverage.nowifyoufallbelowtheaverageonthiscurve,thenpsychologistsgetthrilled,becausethatmeansyou'reeitherdepressedoryouhaveadisorder,orhopefullyboth.we'rehopingforbothbecauseourbusinessmodelis,ifyoucomeintoatherapysessionwithoneproblem,wewanttomakesureyouleaveknowingyouhave10,soyoukeepcomingbackoverandoveragain.we'llgobackintoyourchildhoodifnecessary,buteventuallywhatwewanttodoismakeyounormalagain.butnormalismerelyaverage.
andwhatipositandwhatpositivepsychologypositsisthatifwestudywhatismerelyaverage,wewillremainmerelyaverage.theninsteadofdeletingthosepositiveoutliers,whatiintentionallydoiscomeintoapopulationlikethisoneandsay,whywhyisitthatsomeofyouaresohighabovethecurveintermsofyourintellectualability,athleticability,musicalability,creativity,energylevels,yourresiliencyinthefaceofchallenge,yoursenseofhumorwhateveritis,insteadofdeletingyou,whatiwanttodoisstudyyou.becausemaybewecangleaninformation--notjusthowtomovepeopleuptotheaverage,buthowwecanmovetheentireaverageupinourcompaniesandschoolsworldwide.
thereasonthisgraphisimportanttomeis,wheniturnonthenews,itseemslikethemajorityoftheinformationisnotpositive,infactit'snegative.mostofit'saboutmurder,corruption,diseases,naturalveryquickly,mybrainstartstothinkthat'stheaccurateratioofnegativetopositiveintheworld.whatthat'sdoingiscreatingsomethingcalledthemedicalschoolsyndrome--which,ifyouknowpeoplewho'vebeentomedicalschool,duringthefirstyearofmedicaltraining,asyoureadthroughalistofallthesymptomsanddiseasesthatcouldhappen,suddenlyyourealizeyouhaveallofthem.
ihaveabrotherin-lawnamedbobo--whichisawholeotherstory.bobomarriedamytheunicorn.bobocalledmeonthephonefromyalemedicalschool,andbobosaid,"shawn,ihaveleprosy."(laughter)which,evenatyale,ise_traordinarilyrare.butihadnoideahowtoconsolepoorbobobecausehehadjustgottenoveranentireweekofmenopause.
seewhatwe'refindingisit'snotnecessarilytherealitythatshapesus,butthelensthroughwhichyourbrainviewstheworldthatshapesyourifwecanchangethelens,notonlycanwechangeyourhappiness,wecanchangeeverysingleeducationalandbusinessoutcomeatthesametime.
wheniappliedtoharvard,iappliedonadare.ididn'te_pecttogetin,andmyfamilyhadnomoneyforcollege.whenigotamilitaryscholarshiptwoweekslater,theyallowedmetogo.suddenly,somethingthatwasn'tevenapossibilitybecameareality.wheniwentthere,iassumedeveryoneelsewouldseeitasaprivilegeaswell,thatthey'dbee_citedtobethere.evenifyou'reinaclassroomfullofpeoplesmarterthanyou,you'dbehappyjusttobeinthatclassroom,whichiswhatifelt.butwhatifoundthereis,whilesomepeoplee_periencethat,whenigraduatedaftermyfouryearsandthenspentthene_teightyearslivinginthedormswiththestudents--harvardaskedmeto;iwasn'tthatguy.(laughter)iwasanofficerofharvardtocounselstudentsthroughthedifficultfouryears.andwhatifoundinmyresearchandmyteachingisthatthesestudents,nomatterhowhappytheywerewiththeiroriginalsuccessofgettingintotheschool,twoweekslatertheirbrainswerefocused,notontheprivilegeofbeingthere,norontheirphilosophyortheirphysics.theirbrainwasfocusedonthecompetition,theworkload,thehassles,thestresses,thecomplaints.
whenifirstwentinthere,iwalkedintothefreshmendininghall,whichiswheremyfriendsfromwaco,te_as,whichiswhereigrewup--iknowsomeofyouhaveheardofit.whenthey'dcometovisitme,they'dlookaround,they'dsay,"thisfreshmandininghalllookslikesomethingoutofhogwart'sfromthemovie"harrypotter,"whichitdoes.thisishogwart'sfromthemovie"harrypotter"andthat'sharvard.andwhentheyseethis,theysay,"shawn,whydoyouwasteyourtimestudyinghappinessatharvardseriously,whatdoesaharvardstudentpossiblyhavetobeunhappyabout"
embeddedwithinthatquestionisthekeytounderstandingthescienceofhappiness.becausewhatthatquestionassumesisthatoure_ternalworldispredictiveofourhappinesslevels,wheninreality,ifiknoweverythingaboutyoure_ternalworld,icanonlypredict10percentofyourlong-termhappiness.90percentofyourlong-termhappinessispredictednotbythee_ternalworld,butbythewayyourbrainprocessestheworld.andifwechangeit,ifwechangeourformulaforhappinessandsuccess,whatwecandoischangethewaythatwecanthenaffectreality.whatwefoundisthatonly25percentofjobsuccessesarepredictedbyi.q.75percentofjobsuccessesarepredictedbyyouroptimismlevels,yoursocialsupportandyourabilitytoseestressasachallengeinsteadofasathreat.
italkedtoaboardingschoolupinnewengland,probablythemostprestigiousboardingschool,andtheysaid,"wealreadyknowthat.soeveryyear,insteadofjustteachingourstudents,wealsohaveawellnessweek.andwe'resoe_cited.mondaynightwehavetheworld'sleadinge_pertcomingintospeakaboutadolescentdepression.tuesdaynightit'sschoolviolenceandbullying.wednesdaynightiseatingdisorders.thursdaynightiselicitdruguse.andfridaynightwe'retryingtodecidebetweenriskyse_orhappiness."(laughter)isaid,"that'smostpeople'sfridaynights."(laughter)(applause)whichi'mgladyouliked,buttheydidnotlikethatatall.silenceonthephone.andintothesilence,isaid,"i'dbehappytospeakatyourschool,butjustsoyouknow,that'snotawellnessweek,that'sasicknessweek.whatyou'vedoneisyou'veoutlinedallthenegativethingsthatcanhappen,butnottalkedaboutthepositive."
theabsenceofdiseaseisnothealth.here'showwegettohealth:weneedtoreversetheformulaforhappinessandsuccess.inthelastthreeyears,i'vetraveledto45differentcountries,workingwithschoolsandcompaniesinthemidstofaneconomicdownturn.andwhatifoundisthatmostcompaniesandschoolsfollowaformulaforsuccess,whichisthis:ifiworkharder,i'llbemoresuccessful.andifi'mmoresuccessful,theni'llbehappier.thatundergirdsmostofourparentingstyles,ourmanagingstyles,thewaythatwemotivateourbehavior.
andtheproblemisit'sscientificallybrokenandbackwardsfortworeasons.first,everytimeyourbrainhasasuccess,youjustchangedthegoalpostofwhatsuccesslookedlike.yougotgoodgrades,nowyouhavetogetbettergrades,yougotintoagoodschoolandafteryougetintoabetterschool,yougotagoodjob,nowyouhavetogetabetterjob,youhityoursalestarget,we'regoingtochangeyoursalestarget.andifhappinessisontheoppositesideofsuccess,yourbrainnevergetsthere.whatwe'vedoneiswe'vepushedhappinessoverthecognitivehorizonasasociety.andthat'sbecausewethinkwehavetobesuccessful,thenwe'llbehappier.
buttherealproblemisourbrainsworkintheoppositeorder.ifyoucanraisesomebody'slevelofpositivityinthepresent,thentheirbraine_perienceswhatwenowcallahappinessadvantage,whichisyourbrainatpositiveperformssignificantlybetterthanitdoesatnegative,neutralorstressed.yourintelligencerises,yourcreativityrises,yourenergylevelsrise.infact,whatwe'vefoundisthateverysinglebusinessoutcomebrainatpositiveis31percentmoreproductivethanyourbrainatnegative,neutralorstressed.you're37percentbetteratsales.doctorsare19percentfaster,moreaccurateatcomingupwiththecorrectdiagnosiswhenpositiveinsteadofnegative,neutralorstressed.whichmeanswecanreversetheformula.ifwecanfindawayofbecomingpositiveinthepresent,thenourbrainsworkevenmoresuccessfullyaswe'reabletoworkharder,fasterandmoreintelligently.
whatweneedtobeabletodoistoreversethisformulasowecanstarttoseewhatourbrainsareactuallycapableof.becausedopamine,whichfloodsintoyoursystemwhenyou'repositive,hastwofunctions.notonlydoesitmakeyouhappier,itturnsonallofthelearningcentersinyourbrainallowingyoutoadapttotheworldinadifferentway.
we'vefoundthattherearewaysthatyoucantrainyourbraintobeabletobecomemorepositive.injustatwo-minutespanoftimedonefor21daysinarow,wecanactuallyrewireyourbrain,allowingyourbraintoactuallyworkmoreoptimisticallyandmoresuccessfully.we'vedonethesethingsinresearchnowineverysinglecompanythati'veworkedwith,gettingthemtowritedownthreenewthingsthatthey'regratefulforfor21daysinarow,threenewthingseachday.andattheendofthat,theirbrainstartstoretainapatternofscanningtheworld,notforthenegative,butforthepositivefirst.
journalingaboutonepositivee_perienceyou'vehadoverthepast24hoursallowsyourbraintoreliveit.e_erciseteachesyourbrainthatyourbehaviormatters.wefindthatmeditationallowsyourbraintogetovertheculturaladhdthatwe'vebeencreatingbytryingtodomultipletasksatonceandallowsourbrainstofocusonthetaskathand.andfinally,randomactsofkindnessareconsciousactsofkindness.wegetpeople,whentheyopenuptheirinbo_,towriteonepositiveemailpraisingorthankingsomebodyintheirsocialsupportnetwork.
andbydoingtheseactivitiesandbytrainingyourbrainjustlikewetrainourbodies,whatwe'vefoundiswecanreversetheformulaforhappinessandsuccess,andindoingso,notonlycreateripplesofpositivity,butcreatearealrevolution.
trysomethingnewfor30days小计划帮你实现大目标
afewyearsago,ifeltlikeiwasstuckinarut,soidecidedtofollowinthefootstepsofthegreatamericanphilosopher,morganspurlock,andtrysomethingnewfor30days.theideaisactuallyprettysimple.thinkaboutsomethingyou’vealwayswantedtoaddtoyourlifeandtryitforthene_t30days.itturnsout,30daysisjustabouttherightamountoftimetoaddanewhabitorsubtractahabit—likewatchingthenews—fromyourlife.
there’safewthingsilearnedwhiledoingthese30-daychallenges.thefirstwas,insteadofthemonthsflyingby,forgotten,thetimewasmuchmorememorable.thiswaspartofachallengeididtotakeapictureeverydayforamonth.andiremembere_actlywhereiwasandwhatiwasdoingthatday.ialsonoticedthatasistartedtodomoreandharder30-daychallenges,myself-confidencegrew.iwentfromdesk-dwellingcomputernerdtothekindofguywhobikestowork—forfun.evenlastyear,iendeduphikingupnjaro,thehighestmountaininafrica.iwouldneverhavebeenthatadventurousbeforeistartedmy30-daychallenges.
ialsofiguredoutthatifyoureallywantsomethingbadlyenough,youcandoanythingfor30days.haveyoueverwantedtowriteanoveleverynovember,tensofthousandsofpeopletrytowritetheirown50,000wordnovelfromscratchin30days.itturnsout,allyouhavetodoiswrite1,667wordsadayforamonth.soidid.bytheway,thesecretisnottogotosleepuntilyou’vewrittenyourwordsfortheday.youmightbesleep-deprived,butyou’llfinishyournovel.nowismybookthene_tgreatamericannovelno.iwroteitinamonth.it’sawful.butfortherestofmylife,ifimeetjohnhodgmanatatedparty,idon’thavetosay,“i’macomputerscientist.”no,no,ifiwanttoicansay,“i’manovelist.”
我也认识到如果你真想一些槽糕透顶的事，你可以在30天里做这些事。你曾想写小说吗每年11月，数以万计的人们在30天里，从零起点尝试写他们自己的5万字小说。这结果就是，你所要去做的事就是每天写1667个字要写一个月。所以我做到了。顺便说一下，秘密在于除非在一天里你已经写完了1667个字，要不你就甭想睡觉。你可能被剥夺睡眠，但你将会完成你的小说。那么我写的书会是下一部伟大的美国小说吗不是的。我在一个月内写完它。它看上去太可怕了。但在我的余生，如果我在一个ted聚会上遇见约翰·霍奇曼，我不必开口说，“我是一个电脑科学家。”不，不会的，如果我愿意我可以说，“我是一个小说家。”
(笑声)
sohere’sonelastthingi’dliketomention.ilearnedthatwhenimadesmall,sustainablechanges,thingsicouldkeepdoing,theyweremorelikelytostick.there’snothingwrongwithbig,crazychallenges.infact,they’reatonoffun.butthey’relesslikelytostick.whenigaveupsugarfor30days,day31lookedlikethis.
我这儿想提的最后一件事。当我做些小的、持续性的变化，我可以不断尝试做的事时，我学到我可以把它们更容易地坚持做下来。这和又大又疯狂的具有挑战性的事情无关。事实上，它们的乐趣无穷。但是，它们就不太可能坚持做下来。当我在30天里拒绝吃糖果，31天后看上去就像这样。
sohere’smyquestiontoyou:whatareyouwaitingforiguaranteeyouthene_t30daysaregoingtopasswhetheryoulikeitornot,sowhynotthinkaboutsomethingyouhavealwayswantedtotryandgiveitashotforthene_t30days.
所以我给大家提的问题是：大家还在等什么呀我保准大家在未来的30天定会经历你喜欢或者不喜欢的事，那么为什么不考虑一些你常想做的尝试并在未来30天里试试给自己一个机会。
thanks.
谢谢。
(掌声)
inafunny,rapid-fire4minutes,ale_isohanianofreddittellsthereal-lifefableofonehumpbackwhale'srisetowebstardom.thelessonofmistersplashypantsisashoo-inclassicformeme-makersandmarketersinthefacebookage.
这段有趣的4分钟演讲，来自reddit网站创始人ale_isohanian。他讲了一个座头鲸在网上一夜成名的真实故事。“溅水先生”的故事是脸书时代米姆(小编注：根据《牛津英语词典》，meme被定义为：“文化的基本单位，通过非遗传的方式，特别是模仿而得到传递。”)制造者和传播者共同创造的经典案例。
演讲的开头，ale_isohanian介绍了“溅水先生”的故事。“绿色和平”环保组织为了阻止日本的捕鲸行为，在一只鲸鱼体内植入新片，并发起一个为这只座头鲸起名的活动。“绿色和平”组织希望起低调奢华有内涵的名字，但经过reddit的宣传和推动，票数最多的却是非常不高大上的“溅水先生”这个名字。经过几番折腾，“绿色和平”接受了这个名字，并且这一行动成功阻止了日本捕鲸活动。
演讲内容节选(ale_ohanian从社交网络的角度分析这个事件)
andactually,redditorsintheinternetcommunitywerehappytoparticipate,buttheyweren'twhalelovers.afewofthemcertainlywere.butwe'retalkingaboutalotofpeoplewhowerejustreallyinterestedandreallycaughtupinthisgreatmeme,andinfactsomeonefromgreenpeacecamebackonthesiteandthankedredditforitsparticipation.butthiswasn'treallyoutofaltruism.thiswasjustoutofinterestindoingsomethingcool.
事实上，reddit的社区用户们很高兴参与其中，但他们并非是鲸鱼爱好者。当然，他们中的一小部分或许是。我们看到的是一群人积极地去参与到这个米姆(社会活动)中，实际上“绿色和平”中的人登陆，感谢大家的参与。网友们这么做并非是完全的利他主义。他们只是觉得做这件事很酷。
andthisiskindofhowtheinternetworks.thisisthatgreatbigetheinternetprovidesthislevelplayingfield.yourlinkisjustasgoodasyourlink,whichisjustasgoodasmylink.aslongaswehaveabrowser,anyonecangettoanywebsitenomatterhowbigabudgetyouhave.
theotherimportantthingisthatitcostsnothingtogetthatcontentonlinenow.therearesomanygreatpublishingtoolsthatareavailable,itonlytakesafewminutesofyourtimenowtoactuallyproducesomething.andthecostofiterationissocheapthatyoumightaswellgiveitago.
另外，从互联网获取内容不需要任何成本。如今，互联网有各种各样的发布工具，你只需要几分钟就可以成为内容的提供者。这种行为的成本非常低，你也可以试试。
andifyoudo,begenuineaboutit.behonest.beupfront.andoneofthegreatlessonsthatgreenpeaceactuallylearnedwasthatit'sokaytolosecontrol.thefinalmessagethatiwanttosharewithallofyou--thatyoucandowellonline.ifyouwanttosucceedyou'vegottobeokaytojustlosecontrol.thankyou.
如果你真的决定试试，那么请真挚、诚实、坦率地去做。“绿色和平”在这个故事中获得的教训是，有时候失控并不一定是坏事。最后我想告诉你们的是——你可以在网络上做得很好。如果你想在网络上成功，你得经得起一点失控。谢谢。
当我九岁的时候我第一次去参加夏令营我妈妈帮我整理好了我的行李箱里面塞满了书这对于我来说是一件极为自然的事情因为在我的家庭里阅读是主要的家庭活动听上去你们可能觉得我们是不爱交际的但是对于我的家庭来说这真的只是接触社会的另一种途径你们有自己家庭接触时的温暖亲情家人静坐在你身边但是你也可以自由地漫游在你思维深处的冒险乐园里我有一个想法野营会变得像这样子，当然要更好些(笑声)我想象到十个女孩坐在一个小屋里都穿着合身的女式睡衣惬意地享受着读书的过程
野营这时更像是一个不提供酒水的派对聚会在第一天的时候呢我们的顾问把我们都集合在一起并且她教会了我们一种今后要用到的庆祝方式在余下夏令营的每一天中让“露营精神”浸润我们之后它就像这样继续着r-o-w-d-i-e这是我们拼写“吵闹"的口号我们唱着“噪音，喧闹，我们要变得吵一点”对，就是这样可我就是弄不明白我的生活会是什么样的为什么我们变得这么吵闹粗暴或者为什么我们非要把这个单词错误地拼写(笑声)但是我可没有忘记庆祝。我与每个人都互相欢呼庆祝了我尽了我最大的努力我只是想等待那一刻我可以离开吵闹的聚会去捧起我挚爱的书
但是当我第一次把书从行李箱中拿出来的时候床铺中最酷的那个女孩向我走了过来并且她问我：“为什么你要这么安静”安静，当然，是r-o-w-d-i-e的反义词“喧闹”的反义词而当我第二次拿书的时候我们的顾问满脸忧虑的向我走了过来接着她重复了关于“露营精神”的要点并且说我们都应当努力去变得外向些
andsoiputmybooksaway,backintheirsuitcase,andiputthemundermybed,andtheretheystayedfortherestofthesummer.andifeltkindofguiltyaboutthis.ifeltasifthebooksneededmesomehow,andtheywerecallingouttomeandiwasforsakingididforsakethemandididn'topenthatsuitcaseagainuntiliwasbackhomewithmyfamilyattheendofthesummer.
于是我放好我的书放回了属于它们的行李箱中并且我把它们放到了床底下在那里它们度过了暑假余下的每一天我对这样做感到很愧疚不知为什么我感觉这些书是需要我的它们在呼唤我，但是我却放弃了它们我确实放下了它们，并且我再也没有打开那个箱子直到我和我的家人一起回到家中在夏末的时候
now,itellyouthisstoryaboutsummercamp.icouldhavetoldyou50othersjustlikeit--allthetimesthatigotthemessagethatsomehowmyquietandintrovertedstyleofbeingwasnotnecessarilytherightwaytogo,thatishouldbetryingtopassasmoreofane_trovert.andialwayssenseddeepdownthatthiswaswrongandthatintrovertswereprettye_cellentjustastheyforyearsideniedthisintuition,andsoibecameawallstreetlawyer,ofallthings,insteadofthewriterthatihadalwayslongedtobe--partlybecauseineededtoprovetomyselfthaticouldbeboldandassertivetoo.andiwasalwaysgoingofftocrowdedbarswhenireallywouldhavepreferredtojusthaveanicedinnerwithfriends.andimadetheseself-negatingchoicessorefle_ively,thatiwasn'tevenawarethatiwasmakingthem.
现在，我向你们讲述这个夏令营的故事我完全可以给你们讲出其他50种版本就像这个一样的故事--每当我感觉到这样的时候它告诉我出于某种原因，我的宁静和内向的风格并不是正确道路上的必需品我应该更多地尝试一个外向者的角色而在我内心深处感觉得到，这是错误的内向的人们都是非常优秀的，确实是这样但是许多年来我都否认了这种直觉于是我首先成为了华尔街的一名律师而不是我长久以来想要成为的一名作家一部分原因是因为我想要证明自己也可以变得勇敢而坚定并且我总是去那些拥挤的酒吧当我只是想要和朋友们吃一顿愉快的晚餐时我做出了这些自我否认的抉择如条件反射一般甚至我都不清楚我做出了这些决定
这就是很多内向的人正在做的事情这当然是我们的损失但这同样也是同事们的损失我们所在团队集体的损失当然，冒着被指为夸大其词的风险我想说，更是世界的损失因为当涉及创造和领导的时候我们需要内向的人做到最好三分之一到二分之一的人都是内向的--三分之一到二分之一你要知道这可意味着每两到三个人中就有一个内向的所以即使你自己是一个外向的人我正在说你的同事和你的配偶和你的孩子还有现在正坐在你旁边的那个家伙--他们都要屈从于这样的偏见一种在我们的社会中已经扎根的现实偏见我们从很小的时候就把它藏在内心最深处甚至都不说几句话，关于我们正在做的事情。
nowtoseethebiasclearlyyouneedtounderstandwhatintroversion'sdifferentfrombeingshy.shynessisaboutfearofsocialersionismoreabout,howdoyourespondtostimulation,includingsocialstimulation.soe_trovertsreallycravelargeamountsofstimulation,whereasintrovertsfeelattheirmostaliveandtheirmostswitched-onandtheirmostcapablewhenthey'reinquieter,morelow-keyallthetime--thesethingsaren'tabsolute--butalotofthetime.sothekeythentoma_imizingourtalentsisforusalltoputourselvesinthezoneofstimulationthatisrightforus.
但是现在偏见出现了我们最重要的那些体系我们的学校和工作单位它们都是为性格外向者设计的并且有适合他们需要的刺激和鼓励当然我们现在也有这样一种信用机制我称它为新型的“团队思考”这是一种包含所有创造力和生产力的思考方式从一个社交非常零散的地方产生的
soifyoupicturethetypicalclassroomnowadays:wheniwasgoingtoschool,wesatinrows.wesatinrowsofdeskslikethis,andwedidmostofourworkprettynowadays,yourtypicalclassroomhaspodsofdesks--fourorfiveorsi_orsevenkidsallfacingeachother.andkidsareworkingincountlessgroupassignments.eveninsubjectslikemathandcreativewriting,whichyouthinkwoulddependonsoloflightsofthought,kidsarenowe_pectedtoactascommitteemembers.andforthekidswhoprefertogooffbythemselvesorjusttoworkalone,thosekidsareseenasoutliersoftenor,worse,asproblemcases.andthevastmajorityofteachersreportsbelievingthattheidealstudentisane_trovertasopposedtoanintrovert,eventhoughintrovertsactuallygetbettergradesandaremoreknowledgeable,accordingtoresearch.(laughter)
当你描绘今天典型教室的图案时当我还上学的时候我们一排排地坐着我们靠着桌子一排排坐着就像这样并且我们大多数工作都是自觉完成的但是在现代社会，所谓典型的教室是些圈起来并排的桌子--四个或是五个或是六、七个孩子坐在一起，面对面孩子们要完成无数个小组任务甚至像数学和创意写作这些课程这些你们认为需要依靠个人闪光想法的课程孩子们现在却被期待成为小组会的成员对于那些喜欢独处，或者自己一个人工作的孩子来说这些孩子常常被视为局外人或者更糟，被视为问题孩子并且很大一部分老师的报告中都相信最理想的学生应该是外向的相对于内向的学生而言甚至说外向的学生能够取得更好的成绩更加博学多识据研究报道(笑声)
好了。同样的事情也发生在我们工作的地方现在呢，我们中的绝大多数都工作在宽阔没有隔间的办公室里甚至没有墙在这里，我们暴露在不断的噪音和我们同事的凝视目光下工作而当谈及领袖气质的时候内向的人总是按照惯例从领导的位置被忽视了尽管内向的人是非常小心仔细的很少去冒特大的风险--这些风险是今天我们可能都喜欢的宾夕法尼亚大学沃顿商学院的亚当·格兰特教授做了一项很有意思的研究这项研究表明内向的领导们相对于外向领导而言总是会生产更大的效益因为当他们管理主动积极的雇员的时候他们更倾向于让有主见的雇员去自由发挥反之外向的领导就可能，当然是不经意的对于事情变得十分激动他们在事务上有了自己想法的印迹这使其他人的想法可能就不会很容易地在舞台上发光了
事实上，历史上一些有改革能力的领袖都是内向的人我会举一些例子给你们埃莉诺·罗斯福，罗沙·帕克斯，甘地--所有这些人都把自己描述成内向，说话温柔甚至是害羞的人他们仍然站在了聚光灯下即使他们浑身上下都感知他们说不要这证明是一种属于它自身的特殊的力量因为人们都会感觉这些领导者同时是掌舵者并不是因为他们喜欢指挥别人抑或是享受众人目光的聚焦他们处在那个位置因为他们没有选择因为他们行驶在他们认为正确的道路上
现在我觉得对于这点我有必要说那就是我真的喜爱外向的人我总是喜欢说我最好的几个朋友都是外向的人包括我亲爱的丈夫当然了我们都会在不同点时偏向内向者/外向者的范围甚至是卡尔·荣格，这个让这些名词为大众所熟知的心理学家，说道世上绝没有一个纯粹的内向的人或者一个纯粹的外向的人他说这样的人会在精神病院里如果他存在的话还有一些人处在中间的迹象在内向与外向之间我们称这些人为“中向性格者”并且我总是认为他们拥有世界最美好的一切但是我们中的大多数总是认为自己属于内向或者外向，其中一类
同时我想说从文化意义上讲我们需要一种更好的平衡我们需要更多的阴阳的平衡在这两种类型的人之间这点是极为重要的当涉及创造力和生产力的时候因为当心理学家们看待最有创造力的人的生命的时候他们寻找到的是那些擅长变换思维的人提出想法的人但是他们同时也有着极为显著的偏内向的痕迹
andthisisbecausesolitudeisacrucialingredientoftentodarwin,hetooklongwalksaloneinthewoodsandemphaticallyturneddowndinnerpartyrgeisel,betterknownasdr.seuss,hedreamedupmanyofhisamazingcreationsinalonelybelltowerofficethathehadinthebackofhishouseinlajolla,california.andhewasactuallyafraidtomeettheyoungchildrenwhoreadhisbooksforfearthattheyweree_pectinghimthiskindofjollysantaclaus-likefigureandwouldbedisappointedwithhismorereservedpersona.stevewozniakinventedthefirstapplecomputersittingaloneinhiscubicalinhewlett-packardwherehewasworkingatthetime.andhesaysthatheneverwouldhavebecomesuchane_pertinthefirstplacehadhenotbeentoointrovertedtoleavethehousewhenhewasgrowingup.
这是因为独处是非常关键的因素对于创造力来说所以达尔文自己一个人漫步在小树林里并且断然拒绝了晚餐派对的邀约西奥多·盖索，更多时候以苏索博士的名号知名他梦想过很多的惊人的创作在他在加利福尼亚州拉霍亚市房子的后面的一座孤独的束层的塔形办公室中而且其实他很害怕见面见那些读过他的书的年轻的孩子们害怕他们会期待他这样一位令人愉快的，圣诞老人形象的人物同时又会因发现他含蓄缄默的性格而失望史蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克发明了第一台苹果电脑一个人独自坐在他的机柜旁在他当时工作的惠普公司并且他说他永远不会在那方面成为一号专家但他还没因太内向到要离开那里那个他成长起来的地方
当然了这并不意味着我们都应该停止合作--恰当的例子呢，是史蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克和史蒂夫·乔布斯的著名联手创建苹果电脑公司--但是这并不意味着和独处有重大关系并且对于一些人来说这是他们赖以呼吸生存的空气事实上，几个世纪以来我们已经非常明白独处的卓越力量只是到了最近，非常奇怪，我们开始遗忘它了如果你看看世界上主要的宗教你会发现探寻者--摩西，耶稣，佛祖，穆罕默德--那些独身去探寻的人们在大自然的旷野中独处，思索在那里，他们有了深刻的顿悟和对于奥义的揭示之后他们把这些思想带回到社会的其他地方去没有旷原，没有启示
尽管这并不令人惊讶如果你注意到现代心理学的思想理论它反映出来我们甚至不能和一组人待在一起而不去本能地模仿他们的意见与想法甚至是看上去私人的，发自内心的事情像是你被谁所吸引你会开始模仿你周围的人的信仰甚至都觉察不到你自己在做什么
butthenwehitthe20thcenturyandweenteredanewculturethathistorianscallthecultureofpersonality.whathappenediswehadevolvedanagriculturaleconomytoaworldofbigbusiness.andsosuddenlypeoplearemovingfromsmalltownstotheinsteadofworkingalongsidepeoplethey'veknownalltheirlives,nowtheyarehavingtoprovethemselvesinacrowdofstrangers.so,quiteunderstandably,qualitieslikemagnetismandcharismasuddenlycometoseemreallyimportant.andsureenough,theself-helpbookschangetomeetthesenewneedsandtheystarttohavenameslike"howtowinfriendsandinfluencepeople."andtheyfeatureastheirrolemodelsreallygreatsalesmen.sothat'stheworldwe'relivingintoday.that'sourculturalinheritance.
但是接着我们来到了二十世纪并且我们融入了一种新的文化一种被历史学家称作“个性”的文化所发生的改变就是我们从农业经济发展为一个大商业经济的世界而且人们突然开始搬迁从小的城镇搬向城市并且一改他们之前的在生活中和所熟识的人们一起工作的方式现在他们在一群陌生人中间有必要去证明自己这样做是非常可以理解的像领袖气质和个人魅力这样的品质突然间似乎变得极为重要那么可以肯定的是，自助自立的书的内容变更了以适应这些新的需求并且它们开始拥有名称像是《如何赢得朋友和影响他人》(戴尔卡耐基所著《人性的弱点》)他们的特点是做自己的榜样不得不说确实是好的推销员所以这就是我们今天生活的世界这是我们的文化遗产
现在没有谁能够说社交技能是不重要的并且我也不是想呼吁大家废除团队合作模式但仍是相同的宗教，却把他们的圣人送到了孤独的山顶上仍然教导我们爱与信任还有我们今天所要面对的问题像是在科学和经济领域是如此的巨大和复杂以至于我们需要人们强有力地团结起来共同解决这些问题但是我想说，越给内向者自由让他们做自己他们就做得越好去想出他们独特的关于问题的解决办法
我的祖父是一名犹太教祭司他独身一人在布鲁克林的一间小公寓中居住那里是我从小到大在这个世界上最喜爱的地方部分原因是他有着非常温和亲切的，温文尔雅的举止部分原因是那里充满了书我的意思是，毫不夸张地说，公寓中的每张桌子，每张椅子都充分应用着它原有的功能就是现在作为承载一大堆都在摇曳的书的表面就像我其他的家庭成员一样我祖父在这个世界上最喜欢做的事情就是阅读
但是他同样也热爱他的宗教并且你们可以从他的讲述中感觉到他这种爱这62年来每周他都作为一名犹太教的祭司他会从每周的阅读中汲取养分并且他会编织这些错综复杂的古代和人文主义的思想的挂毯并且人们会从各个地方前来听他的讲话
soijustpublishedabookaboutintroversion,andittookmeaboutsevenyearstoforme,thatsevenyearswasliketotalbliss,becauseiwasreading,iwaswriting,iwasthinking,iwasresearching.itwasmyversionofmygrandfather'shoursofthedayaloneinhislibrary.butnowallofasuddenmyjobisverydifferent,andmyjobistobeoutheretalkingaboutit,talkingaboutintroversion.(laughter)andthat'salotharderforme,becauseashonoredasiamtobeherewithallofyourightnow,thisisnotmynaturalmilieu.
numberone:stopthemadnessforconstantgroupwork.juststopit.(laughter)thankyou.(applause)andiwanttobeclearaboutwhati'msaying,becauseideeplybelieveourofficesshouldbeencouragingcasual,chattycafe-styletypesofinteractions--youknow,thekindwherepeoplecometogetherandserendipitouslyhaveane_changeofisgreat.it'sgreatforintrovertsandit'sgreatfore_troverts.butweneedmuchmoreprivacyandmuchmorefreedomandmuchmoreautonomyatwork.school,sameneedtobeteachingkidstoworktogether,forsure,butwealsoneedtobeteachingthemhowtoworkontheirown.thisisespeciallyimportantfore_trovertedchildrenneedtoworkontheirownbecausethatiswheredeepthoughtcomesfrominpart.
好了，第二个：去到野外(打开思维)就像佛祖一样，拥有你们自己对于事物的揭示启迪我并不是说我们都要跑去小树林里建造我们自己的小屋并且之后就永远不和别人说话了但是我要说我们都可以坚持去去除一些障碍物然后深入我们自己的大脑思想时不时得再深入一点
第三点：好好看一眼你的旅行箱内有什么东西还有你为什么把它放进去所以外向者们也许你们的箱子内同样堆满了书或者它们装满了香槟的玻璃酒杯或者是跳伞运动的设备不管它是什么，我希望每当你们有机会你们就把它拿出来用你的能量和你的快乐让我们感受到美和享受但是内向者们，你们作为内向者你们很可能有仔细保护一切的冲动在你箱子里的东西这没有问题但是偶尔地，只是说偶尔地我希望你们可以打开你们的手提箱，让别人看一看因为这个世界需要你们，同样需要你们身上所携带的你们特有的事物
所以对于你们即将走上的所有旅程，我都给予你们我最美好的祝愿还有温柔地说话的勇气
非常感谢你们!
拥抱他人，拥抱自己
embracingotherness.whenifirstheardthistheme,ithought,well,embracingothernessisembracingmyself.andthejourneytothatplaceofunderstandingandacceptancehasbeenaninterestingoneforme,andit'sgivenmeaninsightintothewholenotionofself,whichithinkisworthsharingwithyoutoday.
weeachhaveaself,butidon'tthinkthatwe'rebornwithone.youknowhownewbornbabiesbelievethey'repartofeverything;they'renotseparatewellthatfundamentalsenseofonenessislostonusveryquickly.it'slikethatinitialstageisover--oneness:infancy,unformed,primitive.it'snolongervalidorreal.whatisrealisseparateness,andatsomepointinearlybabyhood,theideaofselfstartstoform.ourlittleportionofonenessisgivenaname,istoldallkindsofthingsaboutitself,andthesedetails,opinionsandideasbecomefacts,whichgotowardsbuildingourselves,ouridentity.andthatselfbecomesthevehiclefornavigatingoursocialworld.buttheselfisaprojectionbasedonotherpeople'sprojections.isitwhowereallyareorwhowereallywanttobe,orshouldbe
sothiswholeinteractionwithselfandidentitywasaverydifficultoneformegrowingup.theselfthatiattemptedtotakeoutintotheworldwasrejectedoverandoveragain.andmypanicatnothavingaselfthatfit,andtheconfusionthatcamefrommyselfbeingrejected,createdan_iety,shameandhopelessness,whichkindofdefinedmeforalongtime.butinretrospect,thedestructionofmyselfwassorepetitivethatistartedtoseeapattern.theselfchanged,gotaffected,broken,destroyed,butanotheronewouldevolve--sometimesstronger,sometimeshateful,sometimesnotwantingtobethereatselfwasnotconstant.andhowmanytimeswouldmyselfhavetodiebeforeirealizedthatitwasneveraliveinthefirstplace
igrewuponthecoastofenglandinthe'70s.mydadiswhitefromcornwall,andmymomisblackfromzimbabwe.eventheideaofusasafamilywaschallengingtomostpeople.butnaturehaditswickedway,andbrownbabieswereborn.butfromabouttheageoffive,iwasawarethatididn'tfit.iwastheblackatheistkidintheall-whitecatholicschoolrunbynuns.iwasananomaly,andmyselfwasrootingaroundfordefinitionandtryingtoplugetheselflikestofit,toseeitselfreplicated,tobelong.thatconfirmsitse_istenceanditsimportance.anditisimportant.ithasane_tremelyimportantfunction.withoutit,weliterallycan'tinterfacewithothers.wecan'thatchplansandclimbthatstairwayofpopularity,ofmyskincolorwasn'tright.myhairwasn'tright.myhistorywasn'tselfbecamedefinedbyotherness,whichmeantthat,inthatsocialworld,ididn'treallye_ist.andiwas"other"beforebeinganythingelse--evenbeforebeingagirl.iwasanoticeablenobody.
我在70年代英格兰海边长大，我的父亲是康沃尔的白人，母亲是津巴布韦的黑人。而想象我和父母是一家人对于其他人来说总是不太自然。自然有它自己的魔术，棕色皮肤的宝宝诞生了。但从我五岁开始，我就有种感觉我不是这个群体的。我是一个全白人天主教会学校里面黑皮肤无神论小孩。我与他人是不同的，而那个热衷于归属的自我却到处寻找方式寻找归属感。这种认同感让自我感受到存在感和重要性，因此十分重要。这点是如此重要，如果没有自我，我们根本无法与他人沟通。没有它，我们无所适从，无法获取成功或变得受人欢迎。但我的肤色不对，我的头发不对，我的过去不对，我的一切都是另类定义的，在这个社会里，我其实并不真实存在。我首先是个异类，其次才是个女孩。我是可见却毫无意义的人。
anotherworldwasopeninguparoundthistime:performanceandnaggingdreadofself-hooddidn'te_istwheniwasdancing.i'dliterallylosemyself.andiwasareallygooddancer.iwouldputallmyemotionale_pressionintomydancing.icouldbeinthemovementinawaythatiwasn'tabletobeinmyreallife,inmyself.
这时候，另一个世界向我敞开了大门：舞蹈表演。那种关于自我的唠叨恐惧在舞蹈时消失了，我放开四肢，也成为了一位不错的舞者。我将所有的情绪都融入到舞蹈的动作中去，我可以在舞蹈中与自己相溶，尽管在现实生活中却无法做到。
andat16,istumbledacrossanotheropportunity,andiearnedmyfirstactingroleinafilm.icanhardlyfindthewordstodescribethepeaceifeltwheniwasacting.mydysfunctionalselfcouldactuallyplugintoanotherself,notmyown,anditfeltsogood.itwasthefirsttimethatie_istedinsideafully-functioningself--onethaticontrolled,thatisteered,thatigavelifeto.buttheshootingdaywouldend,andi'dreturntomygnarly,awkwardself.
16岁的时候，我遇到了另一个机会，第一部参演的电影。我无法用语言来表达在演戏的时候我所感受到的平和，我无处着落的自我可以与那个角色融为一体，而不是我自己。那感觉真棒。这是第一次我感觉到我拥有一个自我，我可以驾驭，令其富有盛名的自我。然而当拍摄结束，我又会回到自己粗糙不明，笨拙的自我。
by19,iwasafully-fledgedmovieactor,butstillsearchingfordefinition.iappliedtoreadanthropologyatuniversity.dr.phyllisleegavememyinterview,andsheaskedme,"howwouldyoudefinerace"well,ithoughtihadtheanswertothatone,andisaid,"skincolor.""sobiology,genetics"shesaid."because,thandie,that'snotaccurate.becausethere'sactuallymoregeneticdifferencebetweenablackkenyanandablackugandanthanthereisbetweenablackkenyanand,say,awhitenorwegian.becauseweallstemfromafrica.soinafrica,there'sbeenmoretimetocreategeneticspanersity."inotherwords,racehasnobasisinbiologicalorscientificfact.ontheonehand,result.rightontheotherhand,mydefinitionofselfjustlostahugechunkofitscredibility.butwhatwascredible,whatisbiologicalandscientificfact,isthatweallstemfromafrica--infact,fromawomancalledmitochondrialevewholived160,000yearsago.andraceisanillegitimateconceptwhichourselveshavecreatedbasedonfearandignorance.
strangely,theserevelationsdidn'tcuremylowself-esteem,thatfeelingofotherness.mydesiretodisappearwasstillverypowerful.ihadadegreefromcambridge;ihadathrivingcareer,butmyselfwasacarcrash,andiwoundupwithbulimiaandonatherapist'scouch.andofcourseidid.istillbelievedmyselfwasalliwas.istillvaluedself-worthaboveallotherworth,andwhatwastheretosuggestotherwisewe'vecreatedentirevaluesystemsandaphysicalrealitytosupporttheworthofself.lookattheindustryforself-imageandthejobsitcreates,therevenueitturnsover.we'dberightinassumingthattheselfisanactuallivingthing.butit'snot.it'saprojectionwhichourcleverbrainscreateinordertocheatourselvesfromtherealityofdeath.
奇怪的是，这个发现并没有治好我的自卑，那种被排挤的感觉。我还是那么强烈地想要离开消失。我从剑桥拿到了学位，我有份充满发展的工作，然而我的自我还是一团糟，我得了催吐病不得不接受治疗师的帮助。我还是相信自我是我的全部。我还是坚信“自我”的价值甚过一切。而且我们身处的世界就是如此，我们的整个价值系统和现实环境都是在服务“自我”的价值。看看不同行业里面对于自我的塑造，看看它们创造的那些工作，产出的那些利润。我们甚至必须相信自我是真实存在的。但它们不是，自我不过是我们聪明的脑袋假想出来骗自己不去思考死亡这个话题的幌子。
butthereissomethingthatcangivetheselfultimateandinfiniteconnection--andthatthingisoneness,ouressence.theself'sstruggleforauthenticityanddefinitionwillneverendunlessit'sconnectedtoitscreator--toyouandtome.andthatcanhappenwithawareness--awarenessoftherealityofonenessandtheprojectionofself-hood.forastart,wecanthinkaboutallthetimeswhenwedoloseourselves.ithappenswhenidance,wheni'macting.i'mearthedinmyessence,andmyselfissuspended.inthosemoments,i'mconnectedtoeverything--theground,theair,thesounds,theenergyfromtheaudience.allmysensesarealertandaliveinmuchthesamewayasaninfantmightfeel--thatfeelingofoneness.
但其实我们的终极自我其实是我们的本源，合一。挣扎自我是否真实，究竟是什么永远没有终结，除非它和赋予它意义的创造者合一，就是你和我。而这点当我们意识到现实是你中有我，我中有你，和谐统一，而自我是种假象时就会体会到了。我们可以想想，什么时候我们是身心统一的，例如说我跳舞，表演的时候，我和我的本源连结，而我的自我被抛在一边。那时，我和身边的一切--空气，大地，声音，观众的反馈都连结在一起。我的知觉是敏锐和鲜活的，就像初生的婴儿那样，合一。
andwheni'mactingarole,iinhabitanotherself,andigiveitlifeforawhile,becausewhentheselfissuspendedsoisspanisivenessandjudgment.andi'veplayedeverythingfromavengefulghostinthetimeofslaverytosecretaryofstatein__.andnomatterhowothertheseselvesmightbe,they'reallrelatedinme.andihonestlybelievethekeytomysuccessasanactorandmyprogressasapersonhasbeentheverylackofselfthatusedtomakemefeelsoan_iousandinsecure.ialwayswonderedwhyicouldfeelothers'painsodeeply,whyicouldrecognizethesomebodyinthenobody.it'sbecauseididn'thaveaselftogetintheway.ithoughtilackedsubstance,andthefactthaticouldfeelothers'meantthatihadnothingofmyselftofeel.thethingthatwasasourceofshamewasactuallyasourceofenlightenment.
当我在演戏的时候，我让另一个自我住在我体内，我代表它行动。当我的自我被抛开，紧随的分歧和主观判断也消失了。我曾经扮演过奴隶时代的复仇鬼魂，也扮演过__年的国务卿。不管他们这些自我是怎样的，他们都在那时与我相连。而我也深信作为演员，我的成功，或是作为个体，我的成长都是源于我缺乏“自我”，那种缺乏曾经让我非常忧虑和不安。我总是不明白为什么我会那么深地感受到他人的痛苦，为什么我可以从不知名的人身上看出他人的印痕。是因为我没有所谓的自我来左右我感受的信息吧。我以为我缺少些什么，我以为我对他人的理解是因为我缺乏自我。那个曾经是我深感羞耻的东西其实是种启示。
andwhenirealizedandreallyunderstoodthatmyselfisaprojectionandthatithasafunction,afunnythinghappened.istoppedgivingitsomuchauthority.igiveititsdue.itakeittotherapy.i'vebecomeveryfamiliarwithitsdysfunctionalbehavior.buti'mnotashamedofmyself.infact,irespectmyselfanditsfunction.andovertimeandwithpractice,i'vetriedtolivemoreandmorefrommyessence.andifyoucandothat,incrediblethingshappen.
iwasincongoinfebruary,dancingandcelebratingwithwomenwho'vesurvivedthedestructionoftheirselvesinliterallyunthinkableways--destroyedbecauseotherbrutalized,psychopathicselvesalloverthatbeautifullandarefuelingourselves'addictiontoipods,pads,andbling,whichfurtherdisconnectourselvesfromeverfeelingtheirpain,theirsuffering,theire,hey,ifwe'realllivinginourselvesandmistakingitforlife,thenwe'redevaluinganddesensitizinglife.andinthatdisconnectedstate,yeah,wecanbuildfactoryfarmswithnowindows,destroymarinelifeanduserapeasaweaponofwar.sohere'sanotetoself:thecrackshavestartedtoshowinourconstructedworld,andoceanswillcontinuetosurgethroughthecracks,andoilandblood,riversofit.
今年二月，我在刚果和一群女性一起跳舞和庆祝，她们都是经历过各种无法想象事情“自我”遍体鳞伤的人们，那些备受摧残，心理变态的自我充斥在这片美丽的土地，而我们仍痴迷地追逐着ipod，pad等各种闪亮的东西，将我们与他们的痛苦，死亡隔得更远。如果我们各自生活在自我中，并无以为这就是生活，那么我们是在贬低和远离生命的意义。在这种脱节的状态中，我们是可以建设没有窗户的工厂，破坏海洋生态，将__作为战争的工具。为我们的自我做个解释：这是看似完善的世界里的裂痕，海洋，河流，石油和鲜血正不断地从缝中涌出。
crucially,wehaven'tbeenfiguringouthowtoliveinonenesswiththeearthandeveryotherlivingthing.we'vejustbeeninsanelytryingtofigureouthowtolivewitheachother--billionsofeachother.onlywe'renotlivingwitheachother;ourcrazyselvesarelivingwitheachotherandperpetuatinganepidemicofdisconnection.
关键的是，我们还没有明白如何和自然以及其他所有生物和谐地共处。我们只是疯狂地想和其他人沟通，几十亿其他人。只有当我们不在和世界合一的时候，我们疯狂的自我却互相怜惜，并永远继续这场相互隔绝的疫症。
let'slivewitheachotherandtakeitabreathatatime.ifwecangetunderthatheavyself,lightatorchofawareness,andfindouressence,ourconnectiontotheinfiniteandeveryotherlivingthing.weknewitfromthedaywewereborn.let'snotbefreakedoutbyourbountifulnothingness.it'smorearealitythantheonesourselveshavecreated.imaginewhatkindofe_istencewecanhaveifwehonorinevitabledeathofself,appreciatetheprivilegeoflifeandmarvelatwhatcomesne_t.simpleawarenessiswhereitbegins.
让我们共生共荣，并不要太过激进着急。试着放下沉重的自我，点亮知觉的火把，寻找我们的本源，我们与万事万物之间的联系。我们初生时就懂得这个道理的。不要被我们内心丰富的空白吓到，这比我们虚构的自我要真实。想象如果你能接受自我并不存在，你想要如何生活，感恩生命的可贵和未来的惊奇。简单的觉醒就是开始。