Waitress:Yes,sir.Onemoment,please.
Mr.Hanson:CouldyoukindlyexplainthistomeWhatisitem6
Waitress:PerhapsIcouldgothroughitforyou.Thefirstitemisthecovercharge.Number2isthebeer.
Thenyourstarter,yourmaincourseandthevegetables.
Themaincoursewas4.50not3.50,soitem6isthedifference.
Mr.Hanson:Oh,Isee.ButhowwasIexpectedtoknowthat
Waitress:Yes,sir.Theyareabithardtofollowsometimes.
Number8isyourdessertandnumber9thecigarettes.Oh,andnumber7isyoursecondbeer.
Mr.Hanson:Andwhatabouttheservice,isthatincluded
Mr.Hanson:Good.Thankyou.Now,canyoutakemycreditcard
Waitress:Yes,sir.Thatwillbeallright.
B.Dialogue2:
Customer:Canyoubringmethebill,please
Waiter:Certainly,sir.
Customer:Ithinktherehasbeenamistake.
Customer:Ithinkyouhavechargedmetwiceforthesamething.
Look,thefigureof5.50appearshereandthenagainhere.
Waiter:Yessir,youarequiteright.Thecashiermadeamistake.Ithinkyouwillfinditcorrectnow.
Customer:Thankyou.
Waiter:Wedoapologizeaboutthis,sir.
C.CorneyRestaurantJokes:
--Thereisadeadflyswimminginmysoup!
--Thereisadeadflyinmysoup.
--Waiter,thereisaflyinmysoup.
--Yes,sir.WegiveextrameatrationsonFridays.
SectionTwo:
A.OnaLondonBus:
AstrangethinghappenedtoHenriyesterday.Hewasonabusandwantedtogetoff.
Sohestoodupandrangthebell.
ThebusstoppedatthenextbusstopandHenrigotoff.
WhenHenrigothome,hetoldhislandladyabouttheincident.
"Twice,"saidHenri.
Henrinodded."Isee,"hesaid.
B.AttheTravelAgency:
C:Goodmorning.
A&B:Goodmorning.
C:CanIhelpyou
C:Isee.Whatsortofholidaydidyouhaveinmind
A:Lotsofsomething.
B:Nottoowarm.
A:Yes,assunnyaspossible.
C:Andareyouinterestedinthenight-lifeatall
A:WhatdoyoumeanWenevergooutatall,sohowcouldwegetawayfromit
C:(interrupting)CouldIjustaskwhatsortofpriceyouwanttopay
B:Asoheapas.possible.
A:WhatdoyoumeanWewantatophotel.
C:Justaminute,please.IthinkIcanmakeasuggestion.
Thenoneofyoucangotothebeachandtheothercanwalkinthemountains.
A:Thatsoundslikeagoodidea.Andtherearesomegoodhotelsthere.
B:No--therearetoomanyEnglishpeoplethere!
C:(interruptingagain)Excuseme.
A&B:Yes
C:Well,mywifeandIhavethesametroubleasyou.
Ilikehot,livelyplacesandsheprefersabitofpeaceandquietandwealwaysdisagreeabouthowmuchtospend.
C:Well,Icouldgoonholidaywithyou(indicatesoneofthem)andyoucouldgowithmywife.
C.AttheCustoms:
C.O.:Goodmorning,sir,madam.Justreturningfromaholiday,areyou
C.O.:Andhowlonghaveyoubeenabroad
Woman:Twoweeks.
Man:Yes,notverylong.Notlongenoughtobuyanythinganyway.(laughing)
C.O.:Isee.Haveyougotanythingtodeclare
Woman:Harry!
Haveyougotanythingtodeclare
Man:Well...yes.IwouldliketodeclarethatIlovemywife.
Woman:AndIloveyoutoo!
Man:Ofcoursenot,dear!
C.O.:(annoyed)WhatIwanttoknow,sir,iswhetheryouhaveanygoodsinthatbagthatIshouldknowabout.
C.O.:(angry)Ionlywanttoknowifyouhaveanythingliablefortax,likecigarettes,perfumesorbottlesofanything.
Man:Well,wedohaveabottleofshampoo.
C.O.:Pleasegoaway!
Woman:Comeon,Harry.Hejusttolduswecouldgo.
C.O.:Justaminute.MayIseethatjewellery,please
Man:Oh,myGod!Yougreatclumsyidiot!
Woman:ButHarry!Youjustsaidyoulovedme.
Man:Notanymore.
C.O.:Andnowwhathaveyougottodeclare,sir
D.TheSmuggler:
SamLewiswasacustomsofficer.Heusedtoworkinasmallbordertown.
Aboutonceaweek,heusedtomeetanoldman.HisnamewasDraper.
Healwaysusedtoarriveattheborderearlyinthemorninginabigtruck.
Thetruckwasalwaysempty.AfterawhileSambecamesuspicious.
Heoftenusedtosearchthetruck,butheneverfoundanything.
LastyearSamretired.Hespenthissavingsonanexpensiveholiday.
HeflewtoBermuda,andstayedinaluxuryhotel.
Oneday,hewassittingbythepoolandoppositehimhesawDraperdrinkingchampagne.
Samwalkedovertohim.
Sam:Hello,there!
Draper:Hi!
Sam:Doyourememberme
Sam:Iusedtobe,butVmnotanymore.Iretiredlastmonth.Ioftenusedtosearchyourtruck...
Draper:...butyouneverfoundanything!
Draper:Ofcourse,youcan.
Sam:Wereyouasmuggler
Draper:OfcourseIwas.
Sam:But...thetruckwasalwaysempty.Whatwereyousmuggling
Draper:Trucks!
E.MissingChildren:
ThefirstthingtheydoistoputoutanAPBandthisgoestoallthepolicestationsinthecountry.
Nextwecontactthehospitals.Oftenthepersonwearelookingforhasbeeninanaccident.
Thenwemighttryparents,friendsorrelativestheymightbewith.
Wetrytofollowtheirmovementsandtofindthelastpersontheysaworwerewith.
Thenwetrythemedia.Weputphotographsinlocalornationalpapers--especiallypaperstheymightread.
Thereareotherthingswecando:putpostersinplacestheymightbe,goontelevision.
HereinAmericathereisamagazineinwhichtherearephotographsofmissingchildren.
SectionThree:
Dictation.
WhendoyouworkbestFormetheansweriseasy.Iworkbestinthemorning.
Allmycreativeworkisdonebeforelunchtime.Igetupatabouteight,andthenhavebreakfast.
Ilistentotheradioabit,andreadthepapers.AndthenIstart.
OnagooddayIwritefifteenhundredwordsormore,sometimestwothousandwords,inthemorning.
ThenafterlunchIgoforawalk,orread.IntheeveningIliketorelax,gotothepuborgooutandmeetpeople.