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2020.07.23
2009年真题作文网络的“近”与“远”Directions:
Writeanessayof160200wordsbasedonthefollowingdrawing.Inyouressay,youshould
1.describethedrawingbriefly，
2.explainitsintendedmeaning,andthen
3.giveyourcomments.
YoushouldwriteneatlyonANSWERSHEET2.(20points)
第一步熟悉经典模板
审题及提纲
漫画以诙谐幽默的手法展示了网络给人类生活带来的影响。漫画中的人们挤在各自狭小的隔间里，沉迷在网络营造出的虚拟世界之中。他们在网上工作、打游戏、与素未谋面的人交流。看似比肩而坐的他们却被冰冷的墙壁隔离开来，忽略了身旁的人与事，也忽略了外面精彩的世界。而图画的说明文字——网络的“近”与“远”——也进一步说明互联网在拉近全世界距离的同时，也使人与人之间变得越发冷漠。网络的影响有利有弊，考生在写作时，可先肯定网络的好处，再论述其弊端。
第一段：描述图画。进行细节描述的同时，可引入“蜘蛛网”这一概念，以此体现人们看似享受着网络的便利，实则是被困在了这一虚拟世界之中。
第二段：揭示寓意。可先扬后抑，即先承认网络为人们带来的便利，再论述其造成的消极结果。
经典模板范文
Thiscartoonhumorouslyshowsthatagoodmanypeople,areleisurelysurfingonlineintheirdimcubicles,constitutingahugespiderweb.ItisundeniablethattheadventoftheInternetrevolutionizestheworld.However,alongwiththegreatbenefitsofferedbyit,hiddencrisesarecomingtothesurface.
ThepurposeofthecartoonististoshowusthattheInternetcanlengthentheemotiondistanceregardlessofhowclosethesenetterssittooneanother.Or,putanotherway,notonlydoestheInternetofferalotofconvenience,butitbringsaboutcurses.Foronething,thelonghoursspentonthevirtualworldwillweakenpeople'ssocialskills.SinceittakesonlyacomputerwithInternetconnectionstowork,study,andevenentertain,peoplebecomeindifferentandsolitary.Foranother,spendingexcessivetimeandenergyontheInternet,withoutdoubt,leadstoavarietyofdiseases,suchascervicalspondylosisandshoulderperiarthritis.
KnowingwhatarethebenefitsoftheInternetandmakingwiseuseofitcreateexcellence.Ontheonehand,wecantakeadvantageoftheInternettoobtainknowledgeandinformationconducivetoourstudyandwork.Ontheotherhand,weshouldbalanceourtimespentononlinecontactandactivitiesinreallife.Onlyinthiswaywillwenotbeledbythenose,fallfromgraceandheadfordestruction.
这幅漫画幽默地展示了一群正在上网的人。他们悠闲地坐在灰暗的小隔间里，而这些小隔间组成了一张巨大的蜘蛛网。不可否认的是，互联网的出现彻底改变了这个世界。然而，与其带来的极大好处同时出现的，还有它背后隐藏的危机。
第二步宏观思路突破
思路点拨
第一段：模板范文用一句话清晰完整地描述了图画信息，但是最后的总结句却太宽泛，不够切题。实际上，隐藏的危机是什么并没有说明白，我们可将总结句直接砍掉或者简单阐述该现象带来的危害。需要注意的是，这里只需要做简单总结，不必挖掘图画的深层内涵。下面的范文将人们由于网络而变得疏远这一信息非常巧妙地直接融入到对漫画的描述里，值得大家学习。
思路创新范文
Asisvisuallydepictedintheabovehumorouscartoon,inacircularareawhichisdividedintosomesubsections,likeahugespiderweb,thenetizensarefixingtheireyesonthescreen,surfingalonewithlittleinterestindirectcommunicationwithothers.
TheInternetseeminglydrawsusnear,yetitisolatesus.Owingtotheabilitytoprovideequalaccesstoinformationanddisguiseusers'personalities,theInternethassuccessfullyattractedanincreasingnumberofuserstochatdating.InanewGalluppoll,about100millionChinesecybercitizensarewillingtochatwiththeothersideofthenetforseveralhours,butrefusetotalkwiththeirneighborsevenforamoment.Longhoursofimmersioninthevirtualworldweakentheirsocialskills.Peoplemighthavegoneonlikethat,finallycausingthehabitofseparationtograduallydevelopintoapermanentestrangement.Consequently,thetraditionalcommunicationpatternandgoodinterpersonalrelationshipfadeawayinthishorrificindifference.
Obviously,weshouldtakethisissuereasonablyandtakeappropriatemeasures.Forexample,relatedassociationscanorganizesomeinterestingactivitiestoattracttheyoungsterstotherealworld.Meanwhile,thenetizensshalltakeeffortstoabandontheirbadhabitsandremoldtheirownvaluesystems.Inconclusion,weshouldmaketheInternetserveus,insteadofinsulatingus.
如上面这幅生动且富有幽默意味的漫画所示，在一个像巨大蜘蛛网一样的被分隔成许多小隔间的圆形房间里，网民们双眼紧盯着屏幕，独自上网，对与其他人直接交流没有一点兴趣。
第三步微观语言突破
语言点播
第一段：语言创新范文可考虑将思路创新范文的首句调整为“What引导的名词性从句（主语）+系动词+表语”，然后再使用冒号，娓娓道出漫画的内容，即“Whatspringsfromthishumorouscartoonissuchascene:inacirculararea…”，这种处理方式更为新颖，更能吸引阅卷人的眼球。
第三段：语言创新范文可使用动词词组“actonthatknowledge”代替思路创新范文中的“takeappropriatemeasures”，以体现作者较好的语言功底。此外，语言创新范文可将思路创新范文的第三句处理成“itisimperativethat…＋(should)动词原形…”的形式，即“Meanwhile,itisimperativethatthenetizens(should)…”，从句式上实现突破，增强语言的感染力。
语言创新范文
Whatspringsfromthishumorouscartoonissuchascene:inacircularareawhichisdividedintosomesubsections,likeahugespiderweb,thenetizensarefixingtheireyesonthescreen,surfingalonewithlittleinterestindirectcommunicationwithothers.
TheInternetseeminglydrawsusnear,yetitisolatesus.TheInternet—withtheabilitytoprovideequalaccesstoinformationanddisguiseusers'personalities—hassuccessfullyattractedanincreasingnumberofuserstochatdating.About100millionChinesecybercitizens,asanewGalluppollhasshown,arewillingtochatwiththeothersideofthenetforseveralhours,butrefusetotalkwiththeirneighborsevenforamoment.Long-timeimmersioninthevirtualworlddimstheirsocialskills.Peoplemighthavegoneonlikethat,eventuallycausingthehabitofseparationtograduallydevelopintoapermanentestrangement.Asaresult,itisinthishorrificindifferencethatthetraditionalcommunicationpatternandgoodinterpersonalrelationshipfadeaway.
Obviously,weshouldtakethisissuereasonablyandthenactonthatknowledge.Forexample,relatedassociationscanorganizesomeinterestingactivitiestoattracttheyoungsters,therebymakingthemescapefromthevirtualworld.Meanwhile,itisimperativethatthenetizensabandontheirbadhabitsandremoldtheirownvaluesystems.Inconclusion,weshouldmaketheInternetserveus,insteadofinsulatingus.